Is A Threesome A Good Idea?
Sunday, November 13, 2011 at 12:02AM Lennie, my guy wants me to have a threesome. I'm scared it will ruin our relationship. I want to keep him happy, but I'm scared this will become a slippery slope of debauchery. Should I or shouldn't I? I like monogamy.
Dear Monogamist, Your question is difficult to answer as there are many variables. I am a firm believer in keeping things spicy in the bedroom, and if adding a third party, or even a fourth party will do that, then why not. That said, it depends on the emotional security and self-esteem of the people involved. If you are easily jealous and will wonder if he's engaging in other extra-marital or extra-relationship activities, then a threesome is probably not for you. I think sex is sex and love is love, and that the two can be separate with a very secure couple. However, one often doesn't know how secure/insecure the other is until they test the strength of the relationship. Sometimes keeping someone on too tight a leash will lead to more temptation for the leashed person and ultimate betrayal. Sometimes the "idea" of a third party, and just flirting with the idea, is fantasy enough to ignite things in the bedroom. Clear as mud, right?
Reader Comments (4)
Ladies, remember if your man suggest one with your best friend... HE IS ONLY JOKING... unless you want one, of course :)
IMO, introducing a threesome into your relationship is like Communism: good in theory; bad in practice.
I want a 3sum and my boyfriend is willing to have one he has had some in the past but is afraid that it could ruin our relationship... What do I do
I think I answered that above. If he's willing and you're willing, then it's a calculated risk. It could ruin your relationship, it could be a whole lot of fun, or it could be something you do once and never do again. I think it's important to discuss ground rules of what you each feel is acceptable interaction with the third party so that there are no surprises. Only you know how solid your relationship is, and how clearly you communicate, so it ultimately has to be a decision you both make together. Talk it out. That's my advice.