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    Why Did You Get A Divorce?

    Lennie, I'm a divorced, single dad with greatest son in the world. I'm always asked by dates "Why did you get a divorce?" I don't feel discussing my ex would be in the best interest of my son. I try to answer honestly and tactfully: Divorce was not my idea; I never cheated / lied / ran-off with cheerleaders, etc.; further, my son knows he has two parents who love him more than anything. Dates consistently dig for more. They want a reality-TV back story. I don't badmouth, instead I say we had different values and steer the coversation to my values. I would not probe them about their old boyfriends, yet my answer is not enough for them. 

    Dear Divorced Dad,

    If a woman is looking for the drama version, she is probably accustomed to drama. Your answer to the probing is clear, concise, and respectable. It can be a threat to some women if you have a flawless relationship with your ex, but that doesn't seem to be the case, it seems more like a mutual respect for the sake of the child. Very mature. Talking about the "ex" is an easy topic (yet not graceful) when trying to get to know someone, so makes sense it would be asked often. I think your high road approach and decision to be a bit private is wise. It could be these women lack trust and lack experience with relationships that ended on good terms. Perhaps these women need to grow up a little before they are ready for a solid man like yourself.

    Reader Comments (1)

    Awesome post! I enjoyed reading it. You hit the nail on the head. Although my ex and I have different values, we respect each other since our commonality is our son. I will even go as far to say, "I love my ex, because she's the mother of my child." It's a different kind of love, but some women I date don't understand that. Privacy is often the best boundary to not cross if there is no understanding.

    November 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRey

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