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Lennie's bookshelf: read

Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct Blow Me Blow Me Half Broke Horses The Glass Castle Steve Jobs

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    « Getting To "No" You | Main | More Sex, Please »

    First Impressions

    Lennie. I keep meeting really nice guys with good jobs who I’m not immediately attracted to. How many dates should I give them before I move on? 

    Dear Not Immediately Attracted, the fact that you are not immediately attracted says it all. Relationships are about chemistry, whether they are business relationships, friendships or romantic relationships. To put it in Facebook terms, we tend to either "like" or "unlike" like someone immediately. Our first impressions are rarely wrong. If we like someone, the feeling can flatline at a basic like/warm-fuzzy level or it can flourish over time into something greater such as a BFF or a LOML. If your immediate response is negative, the chances are it's not going to magically flip to positive after the second or third date, and you are more likely to get mad or frustrated with yourself for devoting your valuable time to giving someone more chances than they deserve. Dating is like auditioning. You know the minute the actor walks in the room if he's right for the part. If he's not right, no matter how good his audition, he's not going to land the part - or in this case, your heart.

    Reader Comments (1)

    That theory is why so many people are still single and also get divorced. Meet someone who looks amazing and you instantly think they are the one. How do you know? Looks dont make great relationships, what is inside a person does. And that my dear takes time. So keep going on onesy twosy dates with the Rickos of the world, and never be satisfied. Or clear out the mess in your head and spend some time with those "nice guys" who truly know how to both treat you, and make you feel special. Oh yeah, and if you arent truly happy with who you are as a person, noone will satisfy you, EVER!

    March 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarry

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