Dear Lennie, At the end of a date, even if I am expecting the guy to pay, I feel like it's rude or presumptuous of me not to at least pretend to go for my wallet. What is the most graceful way to handle someone paying for you? Feeling guilty.
Dear Guilty Girl: I don't recommend the fake wallet draw. He may take you up on it, and if you weren't actually intending to pay, you may be embarrassed if you don't have enough cash on hand. Furthermore, he may pick up on the fake draw and that's not going to impress him. I'm a traditionalist when it comes to dating and believe a man should ask a woman out and pay for the date. His manners and dating etiquette are an indication of how caring he will be as a partner. The most graceful way to handle someone paying for you is simply to say "Thank you" or, you can elaborate and say "Thank you, I had a lovely evening." If you are uncomfortable having a man pay for you, you need to examine why. It could be a lack of self-respect or self-worth that you don't feel deserving of being treated well, or it could be that you feel an obligation to take things further. Make no mistake: Your only obligation is to act like a lady. If you act like a lady, you deserved to be treated like one too.