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    « Why is she unwilling to commit? | Main | She asks, he pays? »
    Sunday
    Jun122011

    In hot pursuit

    What should a guy do when a girl over-pursues you?

    Well, normally what men seem to do is just ignore the woman and not return her calls or texts. But that’s a rather rude way to tell someone to back off. If you really feel that she’s being overly aggressive in pursuing you and you’re not interested in dating her, then the best thing to do is to be honest and direct with her. Tell her point blank that while you are flattered by her interest, you’re just not feeling the same chemistry. She may get upset by this, but in the long run she will thank you (maybe not to your face, but in spirit), because you will have saved her from greater embarrassment of being that desperate woman who chases a man. We’ve all been there. It ain’t pretty.  

    Reader Comments (2)

    Sweetie,

    I see where you're coming from on this one, but being a man that has tried this angle. Its a loser. The backlash was never ending. "Who do you think you are" and drunken calls at midnight to persuade me to change my mind lasted for a few weeks. Boys, little white lies work wonders here. There is no reason to hurt her feelings by being blunt. Tell her you're seeing someone and it just started to take off, or that you're ex wants to get back with you and you want to explore that. She'll back off and love you for the "honesty". Telling a girl, "hey, I'm really not that interested in you" is never going to end well.

    Michael

    June 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

    Michael, perhaps it was that particular woman who didn't appreciate your honesty. She seems to have a low self-image given her midnight drunken dialing and her begging. A woman with self-esteem would rather the honesty than being jerked around with one excuse, and then when that excuse wears thing... like she finds out you didn't go back with your ex....another excuse is layered on. If it's addressed courteously, we (real women) can handle the truth. Admittedly, there will be those who enjoy drama and will get upset, but there is nothing clearer and no quicker way to get a woman to stop pursuing than to say "thank you, but I'm not interested." If you lie, there is a chance you will be ineffective, and a chance you will be caught in that lie which will result in endless drama. Of course, you may like drama :)

    June 27, 2011 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

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