Dear Lennie, I’m dating a girl, but she won’t commit to a relationship. Why?
Dear Dating, define relationship, would be my first comment. If you mean she won’t have sex with you, that’s one thing. That mean’s she likes you, she’s very interested and she doesn’t want to have sex too soon for fear that you will just see her as a fuck buddy. Or, it means she sees you only as a friend and has no interest in ever having sex with you. In which case, I have news for you: you’re not dating. If you mean, she won’t get serious as in talk about the future—marriage, children, and a life together—I hate to break it to you, but this means that she is not convinced you are the man for her. Maybe she can’t see herself having children with you, maybe she doesn’t feel financially secure enough in the relationship—envisioning herself having children, losing her salary for a period of time, if not indefinitely—and worries that you don’t earn enough to put the kids through college, etc. One way to find out if she’s serious is to pull out a ring and propose to her.