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Lennie's bookshelf: read

Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct Blow Me Blow Me Half Broke Horses The Glass Castle Steve Jobs

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    If you have a question about dating, please email me through the form on this website (you may do so anonymously) or contact me by direct message on Facebook and I will do my best to answer your question. Responses are posted every Sunday morning.

    Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.



    Gym Crush

    I have a 'crush' at the gym. We are there at the same time each morning, every day. I live in a very small Canadian city so it normal for me to know someone who knows him. At this point I have not seen him talk to ANYONE.  I know... I would love to try and open up the communication somehow but I feel like making any kind of move at the gym is very cheesy! Helllp!

    Dear Gym Gal, I agree that making a move at the gym is cheesy, though it's infinitely cheesier for a man to do it than a woman. Rather than strike up a conversation, I would try to get on the elliptical next to him or ask him how to use a piece of equipment. Then the next time you have a reason to say hi. Eventually, perhaps he will strike up a conversation with you which is the better position to be in than to pursue him. Also get yourself some really hot workout gear - a little Lululemon Athletica can't hurt - and make sure you look your best. Not full makeup (guys hate that at the gym), but a little sheer lip gloss to make those lips moist and sexy and some light mascara and even a tiniest bit of natural blush to give your cheeks a glow. He won't even notice it as makeup, but he will notice you look great. Or, you can wait. If you live in that small a town it seems that eventually you will run into him.


    Should I Stay Or Should I Go, Now?

    Dearest Lennie, I've been in a long term relationship for 3 years and he hasn't asked me to marry him yet. Should I issue an ultimatum? I do love him but...

    Dear Long Term, sounds like you have a case of the "why by the milk" scenario going on. See my blog Silent Night, Horny Night December 2010. If a man hasn't realized in three years, make that ONE year, that you're the best woman he's ever going to meet, then he's not suddenly going to wake up one day and decide that. Sad to say, but he's keeping his options open. Walk away expecting nothing more than to be free of a commitment-phobic man who is not respecting you. The best that will happen is a few months later, he'll wake up and come after you with a nice big apology and an equally large engagement ring (happened to a friend of mine). The worst that will happen is you'll find another man, one who doesn't need to waste three years of your life trying to figure out what he wants with his. Beyoncé had it right: if he likes it then he "shoulda put a ring on it."


    About Face(book)...

    Boyfriend Gone Wild:  Dear Lennie, my boyfriend keeps contacting my guy Facebook friends and telling them I'm in a relationship. He's totally jealous and it's totally embarrassing. He also posts stuff about our relationship, just to prove to others how serious we are. It's not cool. What should I do?

    Dear BGW, here's an idea: get a new boyfriend. Seriously, I think your boyfriend is a borderline stalker. This is aggressive, controlling behavior and not acceptable in a significant other. It's also an invasion of your privacy. He sounds insecure and immature. You should firmly tell him that he's crossing the line and if he does not change his behavior then I would start by blocking him from your Facebook account and seriously consider doing an about face with your relationship and trading him in for a more confident man. It's clear your boyfriend is a boy, but I'm not convinced he is a friend.  


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