Should I Stay Or Should I Go, Now?

Dearest Lennie, I've been in a long term relationship for 3 years and he hasn't asked me to marry him yet. Should I issue an ultimatum? I do love him but...

Dear Long Term, sounds like you have a case of the "why by the milk" scenario going on. See my blog Silent Night, Horny Night December 2010. If a man hasn't realized in three years, make that ONE year, that you're the best woman he's ever going to meet, then he's not suddenly going to wake up one day and decide that. Sad to say, but he's keeping his options open. Walk away expecting nothing more than to be free of a commitment-phobic man who is not respecting you. The best that will happen is a few months later, he'll wake up and come after you with a nice big apology and an equally large engagement ring (happened to a friend of mine). The worst that will happen is you'll find another man, one who doesn't need to waste three years of your life trying to figure out what he wants with his. Beyoncé had it right: if he likes it then he "shoulda put a ring on it."

About Face(book)...

Boyfriend Gone Wild:  Dear Lennie, my boyfriend keeps contacting my guy Facebook friends and telling them I'm in a relationship. He's totally jealous and it's totally embarrassing. He also posts stuff about our relationship, just to prove to others how serious we are. It's not cool. What should I do?

Dear BGW, here's an idea: get a new boyfriend. Seriously, I think your boyfriend is a borderline stalker. This is aggressive, controlling behavior and not acceptable in a significant other. It's also an invasion of your privacy. He sounds insecure and immature. You should firmly tell him that he's crossing the line and if he does not change his behavior then I would start by blocking him from your Facebook account and seriously consider doing an about face with your relationship and trading him in for a more confident man. It's clear your boyfriend is a boy, but I'm not convinced he is a friend.