Lennie, my boyfriend totally lacks manners and I find it embarrassing. He never opens the car door for me, or the door to the restaurant. The other day we were at a party and he got a drink for himself and didn't even ask me if I wanted one. How can I change him?
Dear Ms. Manners, I can appreciate your situation. Women like to be treated like ladies, and expect men to be gentlemen. I think many men use the excuse of women's Lib having confused the situation. But, there is simply no excuse for a lack of manners. Manners are sexy. I think you should never open your car door. If this means that he drives off leaving you on the side of the road, and doesn't notice you're missing until he turns over in bed and tries to f*ck you, so be it. I'm sure you dote on him and make him feel special; it's only fair that he do the same in kind. Poor etiquette is a reflection on him not you, so you needn't feel embarrassed. However, I don't think you should stand for that behavior as it indicates that he does not respect and appreciate you.