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Lennie's bookshelf: read

Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct Blow Me Blow Me Half Broke Horses The Glass Castle Steve Jobs

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    If you have a question about dating, please email me through the form on this website (you may do so anonymously) or contact me by direct message on Facebook and I will do my best to answer your question. Responses are posted every Sunday morning.

    Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.


    Entries in Dating Tips (7)


    Feeling Cheated

    Lennie: I go on a lot of first dates and I'm always paying the bill. Rarely do these dates develop into anything more. Why does the guy always have to pay? It's like a rip off and it's not fair.

    Dear Not Fair, life is not a Disney movie. The fact that women make on average 30% less than men and are subject to sexual harassment and sexual discrimination is not fair either. Men pay for first dates (and generally for all dates), because it's proper dating etiquette. I'm assuming that when you say you feel "ripped off", it's because you have an expectation to get to the proverbial "third date" or beyond and are not getting any action. If you're not making it past the first date, perhaps you are asking out the wrong women or there's something about yourself that needs improvement to make them want to take things further. Maybe they are sensing your desire to get to hit a home-run. It's easy to blame others. Maybe it's time to take a long look in the mirror and see if your hair needs a trim or your attitude needs an adjustment. If you feel you cannot afford these dates, then suggest dates that have less impact on your bank account, such as going for coffee or going on a hike. Remember, you have to be wiling to play ball in order to hit one out of the park. 


    To Text Or Not To Text, That Is The Question.

    Dear Lennie, Is it okay to text a guy within an hour or two after a date to thank him and tell him you had a good time, or is that being too forward? What is proper etiquette?

    Dear Miss Manners. Glad you have some and that you are asking this question. Yes, it is okay to text a man after a date to say thank you. But I would wait at least till you got home, took off your make up, and walked your dog or played with your cats, whatever the case may be. What I mean is, wait an hour. And when you do text him, keep it simple and not too emotional. Something like It was nice to meet you. I had a great time. Thanks for dinner. Do not confess your undying love for him, do not ask him on a second date by saying I hope to see you soon, and do not say anything sexual. If he texts back right away. You are allowed (by Lennie's Laws of Etiquette) to text back one more time. Then let it be. You don't want to appear too eager, too clingy, or too desperate. Guys like a chase, so let him chase you. The other option is not to text, and to call him the next day and leave a message... of course, he should be calling you to do that, and it's perfectly acceptable for you to wait for him to make the first move and thank him for the date at that point. 

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