What is up with today's women?

Dear Lennie: My last relationship lasted 20 years. I'm now mid-40s and dating. Things are a lot different now then they were when i was young. Maybe it's the age of the women I'm dealing with, 35 to 45 years old. It seems they all have some kind of hatred towards men. Like everyone of then have been hurt and need to get revenge. Thoughts? T

Dear T

I hear this very often, and I think it relates directly to last week's post on dating at 40. I think women get so frustrated: they are exhausted by the fact that they have worked so hard on their careers, and perhaps didn't make time for a relationship, and those relationships they had didn't turn out so well. The pressures on women these days are intense, and I think sometimes they forget to stop and relax and just be women. We have the pressure of biological clocks, and not just in regard to babies, but I've heard of men looking at women in their 40s as only having a few good years left before they hit menopause. So panic sets in for women, and they are so busy rushing to the finish line of "finding Mr. Right" that they forget to stop and relax and enjoy the process.  It's also true that a lot of men treat women poorly (and the women allow themselves to be treated poorly, because somehow they grew up with low self esteem—been there myself). Many women in their late 30's early 40's feel like it's hopeless. It is important as a man to respect a woman's intentions—that is, if she is looking for a commitment, children, marriage, etc—not to waste her time. But, it's also important for women to lighten up in the process. I hope that makes some sense ;) My friend Hot Alpha Female has an interesting video blog on this subject: