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« Silent Night, Horny Night… | Main | Survivor: Los Angeles »
Wednesday
Dec222010

7 Tips to Getting Your Girlfriend a Great Christmas Gift

There is nothing worse than watching your girlfriend open her gift and give you a fake smile as she says “Cool, thanks” and tosses it aside.  Okay there is one thing worse. She could say “What in f@#k made you think I’d want a toolbox for Christmas?” and storm out of the room. If your girlfriend is dropping hints about needing repairs done around her apartment, you’re a real tool if you buy her a toolbox. What she is saying is “it would be really great if you could fix my leaky faucet for me” not “I’d love a Black & Decker drill set for Christmas.”

Here’s a simple shopping suggestion: Listen to what she says and pay attention to what she wears. 

Women are always talking about what they want but can’t afford, which should make gift giving a slam dunk provided you can afford the things she wants. If she keeps saying “this computer is so slow, I hate my f#*king computer,” or “I should have bought a Mac”, chances are you won’t go wrong by buying her a new computer. If she’s a Yoga/Pilates nut and is perpetually dressed in Lululemon athletic wear, odds are you can buy her anything in that store and she’s gonna be happy. But, don’t over-simplify and assume that workout clothes are workout clothes, shoes are shoes, and earrings are earrings. If she only wears small earrings, don’t go getting her a giant pair of hoops. You may think they’re sexy, but she won’t when her earlobes are dragging on the ground. She’ll wear them once then retire them to jewelry heaven.  

When searching for that perfect gift at the very last minute – as men are prone to do – consider these seven tips:

1. Details are important: If she said Mac, don’t buy a Dell. 

2. Bigger is better:  If she says Macbook Pro, don’t buy a Macbook.  However, if she says Macbook, buying a Macbook Pro will score you major bonus points.

3. Pay attention to specifics: If she says she wants an iPad, don’t buy her a Kindle.  Apples. Oranges.  The reaction will be rotten tomatoes!

4. Get her what she thinks is sexy, not what you think is sexy: If she wears striped boy shorts and polka-dotted undies from Victoria’s Secret, don’t go all Agent Provocateur stay-up stockings, garters and pushup bras for Christmas. That’s the equivalent to her buying you a cock ring. Talk about setting off insecurity alarm bells. If she’s sporting a 1 on the sexy lingerie scale, don’t notch things up to an 11 on Christmas morning. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was a smoking hot girlfriend.

5. Get something she will like, not something you will like: Just because you think a Nintendo Wii is a cool gift, doesn’t mean she will. Nothing says you’re not special more than a gift that you’ll use more than she will.

6. Never take the cheap way out: If you can’t afford the Louboutins, don’t go painting the bottoms of her shoes red. That’s not the same thing. Look for something else that better fits your budget that you know she will like.

7. When in doubt, buy jewelry: Not the costume stuff. Nothing says I love you more than a little blue box (code: Tiffany) or a little red box (code: Cartier). While Cartier may not be in your budget, you’ll be surprised at the great little gifts you can get for under $250 at Tiffany

A word to the wise, a great gift is an investment that will come back to you in spades; a happy girlfriend is a horny girlfriend.

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Reader Comments (4)

1-6 - You're basically saying, "Listen to your Girlfriend, not pretend to." Check. Check one.

4. I don't know - a girlfriend who wears Victoria's Secret lingerie? I think the boyfriend needs to Step It Up here and show her the La Perla.

7. Tiffany? Isn't that for my grandmother? I'm not a fan of boring jewelry that has been marked up to the max. (Although they do focus on the metal most pleasing to my eye, silver.) If you insist, though, it would be jewelry from Barneys.

Oh, but my first hope would be to find something of delight at the Paul Smith store.

RE: Your last line - if only I had known this when I was under 25!

December 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKing Krak, Oenomancer

For me, it's Kiki De Montparnasse and Agent Provocateur all the way...maybe a little La Perla thrown in for good measure, but if it's not the Black Label La Perla, or the new Gaultier line, it's too "old lady" for me. It's also designed for enhanced women, and I'm 100% organic and a little more difficult to fit. I'm trying to appeal to a broad audience here, my dear...not everyone can afford $400 panties for their girlfriend.

Believe it or not, there are some nice classic things at Tiffany, as well as the crystal candy dish for grandma. I'd wager a Cartier Roadster XL that your average girl who is lucky to earn $45,000-$55,000 a year would be very happy with something that screamed Tiffany like one of their classic silver charm bracelets. Sure it can be over-priced, but so can all jewelry, unless you know a diamond broker or go to XIV Karat in Beverly Hills where it's primarily discounted knock offs... but sometimes having something 'brand name' means a little more - to know that people know what it is. I'd much rather have a Cartier love bracelet than some cheap knock off.

I wrote this with a very specific audience in mind. My apologies if it doesn't appeal to you. I do appreciate your comments and your continued readership. Glad you at least liked the last line. Your taste is perfectly pleasing to me, so you're welcome to buy me a gift any time - except for the Paul Smith - they should follow suit with John Varvatos and drop their women's line. Gucci runs circles around them.

More blog coming Saturday... not sure that one will appeal to you either...can't hit a home run every time, but I can try.

Have a wonderful holiday season.

December 23, 2010 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

It's always about what he wants- This has got to change.....Everything you listed- Wow...Never have I had a man LISTEN TO ME when it came to what I wanted! I mean I literally told THE EX BOYFRIEND (that explains why he's the EX) what I wanted for my birthday one time and he said "No I already got your gift- You're going to love it". It was nice of him to be all creative and take me out to a nice hotel and Vegas...But 1. I did not want to gamble 2. Knowing that I love dancing he didn't even take me to any nice clubs- OH, but we had plently of time to go BOWLING! are you serious!??!! I wanted something I can keep and use all the time not something that would come and go in less than 24 hours and me be bored out of my mind! You're right - THEY NEED TO SERIOUSLY LISTEN AND LOOK AT THEIR WOMEN REALLY DEEP AND GOOD.

December 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRCA

In order:
I'm not exactly cool with $400 panties. A $3000 corset or bustier, yes. Frankly, I'm just not up on who's making the best lingerie; used La Perla as an example, as their quality is such a level beyond V.S.

I confess to not having seen a Tiffany catalog in 4-5(?) years, so I will concede that they might have something of interest. Cartier watch? Uh-un. Vacheron Constantin. But watches, to me, have gone the way of the personal flask, the snuff box, and the hat pin. (My iPhone is like a watch; it needs winding (charging), but has some additional uses. Oh, and Paul Smith - I wasn't thinking of a dress, but instead, scarf, gloves, hat, jewelry and home gifts. I've not been swayed by their women's line, but I rarely even get to glance at it. For men's, though, they are always the odds-on-favorite to have the coolest shirt of the season, and every 2-3 years, "the" sports jacket. (Still, requires a lot of patience and hunting to find/spot.) If I had to choose a dress, though, I'd probably start at Dries Van Noten. As for John Varvatos, they've become my favorite source for pants the past two years...but I still haven't bought one shirt. And I love the Varvatos leather jacket I have. Although now just a part of history, Matsuda is (was) my other favorite fashion designer/line/house.

I liked the whole post, btw, not just the last line; sorry this wasn't apparent. And I don't expect anyone's blog posts to always be interesting or fun or insightful or not boring. Please don't even try to hit a home run every time; it's not possible. What's a foul out to me is a triple down the rightfield line to someone else. Besides, isn't this blog part book promo, part date ad, part venting and part just having some fun?

December 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKing Krak, Oenomancer

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