How many times have you gone on a date, assumed everything was going just great, and never gotten a second date? We know it happens, because we women make it happen. Women are really good at pretending we’re having a good time (it’s called being polite), when we’d really like to choke on a piece of steak and get rushed to the hospital than endure the rest of a bad date.
Gentlemen, if you don’t know why you’re not getting a second date, here’s a list of “dating don’ts” that might help you figure out where you’re going wrong.
1. Expect Your Date To Pay For Half: Leave “going Dutch” to the Dutch. It does not fly in the United States. A gentleman always pays. If you don’t like this rule, consider a sex change or moving to Amsterdam - or both.
2. Complain About The Price Of The Meal: If you can’t afford the meal, you can’t afford the girl. If she chose the restaurant and it’s too expensive for your taste that tells you something about your compatibility.
3. Talk About Yourself Ad Nauseum: It’s rude and you’re not that interesting. You might want to hide that fact if you’re shooting for a second date. If you can't stop talking about yourself, why do you need company? You can entertain yourself.
4. Blatantly Lie About Sh*t: My date said he was producing a movie with George Clooney. Just so happens that night my BFF was in the back of a limo with Clooney and Brad Pitt on the way to a premiere. I was able to confirm that my date was a lying sack of shit.
5. Make Sexual Innuendos: We do not want to hear about your dick size, or lack thereof (especially lack thereof). Making sexual references does not get us aroused; it gets us annoyed.
6. Ask For A Second Date Before The First Date Is Over: How awkward would it be to hear a ‘no’ between the entrée and dessert. If your date is polite and she’s not interested, you will force her to lie. It’s not like she’s going to say “God no, this date has been brutal enough” then ask for a cappuccino.
7. Go For A Kiss On The First Date: She is not for hire. Don’t treat her as such. Unless she is on your lap, peppering you with kisses, do not kiss her. Not even a peck on the cheek. A hug is sufficient to say that you had a good time – and not so tight that she can feel the bulge in your pants.
8. Post A Photo Of Your Date on Facebook: If you take a great picture of her ass while she’s heading to the ladies’ room that does not give you the right to post it on your Facebook page.
9. Dish About Past Dates: Save that for your blog. Focus on the date you're currently on. There's no need to bring up just how good or bad your dates have been. It makes you look like a critical asshole, chronic dater and desperado. Even if you are those things, no need to broadcast it.
10. Text At The Table: Nothing says, “you’re not important” more than texting in the middle of a conversation. If you simply must text your friend, tweet or update your Facebook page, then excuse yourself to the restroom and TWP (text while peeing), just make sure you don’t drop you phone in the urinal.