Things I am passionate about: great wine, fast cars, fast women. Scratch that. I am a fast woman, or so I like to think! *joke* While I do like wine and Porsches, my interests span much broader than just that, and so do my life aspirations. Our overall goal in life is to be happy. How you get from A) not happy, or not as happy as you want to be, to B) happy, or over the moon ecstatic is, up to the individual. What’s important is to keep focused on the goal.
First, you need to know what makes you happy. I suggest writing a list. The things that make you happy, and the things you want to do—a bucket list of sorts—that will bring you more happiness. Will jumping out of a plane with a parachute strapped to your back make you happy? What about taking a cooking course in Alba during truffle season? Have you always wanted to learn how to ballroom dance? Do you want to travel more to exotic locales like Burma and Laos? If you know what’s on your list, then you know what defines you, and finding a mate or life partner will be easier. Just look for that person with a similar or complimentary list.
If you like wine and Porsches and you meet someone who goes to three AA meetings a week and drives a Prius, odds are you're not going to be compatible in the long run. Compatibility is the key to sustainability. If you can't be BFFs with your life partner, chances are you won't be partners for life. Compromise is also key. Reminds me of that song by the Black Eyed Peas: meet me half way. If the person you’re dating wants to live on the East Coast and you what to live on the West Coast, what are you going to do, live in Omaha? You either concede to being bicoastal or you agree to spend half your life in one place and half in another. Here’s the catch. Say you live half your life where you don’t want to, and it’s time to cash in on your side of the equation. What if your other half doesn’t want to keep up their side of the bargain and move with you? Either you never live your dream, or you end your relationship in the pursuit of that happiness you have always craved. It’s hard to know if the person you choose as a life partner will make those important compromises. You trust. You get burned. You try again. Only each time your candle burns a little less bright.