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« The Morning After | Main | Wine and the Single Girl: Split Decision »
Saturday
Mar262011

Single O.B.O.

In Los Angeles, life is like a used car advertisement: $3500, or best offer (O.B.O.); Plastic surgeon with a house in the hills, O.B.O.; entertainment executive with private jet, O.B.O. Whether a party invitation, a date, or marriage, nobody is willing to commit because they are always waiting for that better offer. I find this so irritating. It is a reason to loathe this city. Try planning a dinner party when you don't know for sure who is going to attend.

When I throw a dinner, it's an occasion you want to attend, nothing but the finest wines and a meal that takes me all week to plan. I recall one time when I was hosting a dinner for eight of my close friends. A girl who I thought to be a good friend didn't show. At first I thought she was delayed by traffic, but after an hour, several messages and no reply, I assumed the worst - she had a freak car accident and was in the emergency room or there had been a death in the family. She was Canadian, notoriously reliable by nationality, so there was no way she could have just flaked. Weeks later when I finally heard from her, I discovered that I was wrong. This was one Canadian that had been in Los Angeles too long. Time to rescind her passport.

The other week, I had a dinner planned. One particular single guy had not replied, so I assumed he was not attending. I wanted to text him and ask "does your lack of response mean you're not attending, don't value our friendship, or that you are simply rude", but then that would make me rude. Two days prior to the dinner, he texts "forgot to reply." What does that mean? I eventually got it out of him that he was planning on attending. Thanks for the heads up, dude. I'll buy some more caviar. His confirmation was followed by "are you gonna introduce me to any of your cute girlfriends?" Hmm, is his attendance dependent on my response?

Listen up, Angelinos. You are not going to meet someone if you are too frickin' lackadaisical to respond to a dinner invitation. What does that say about the effort you put into dating? And you want me to set you up? Prove to me you are worthy first by showing some basic manners. Socializing is how you meet people. So, you don't meet some hot, easy model with big tits and get laid at every social engagement you attend (same holds true for you women, simply replace the word "tits" with "c*ck"). But, by getting out into the world and engaging with friends, you will make new friends and get invited to bigger parties with cooler people and better offers will come your way. You will eventually get laid, if that's your goal. But if you rule out your friends, because they don't have hot friends to set you up with, then what kind of friend are you? Really.

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Reader Comments (5)

This post made me giggle and sadly nod my head in agreement. I believe the lack of event commitment is a west coast thing. Not just limited to the United States. Vancouverites show this same flaky attitude towards rsvping and attending events. It's terribly frustrating and somewhat rude. Our attitude is notorious across Canada.

March 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTales from a Bar Stool

Vancouverites can at least blame the rain! There is no such excuse in LA (except the last few days). It's really tragic. I have almost given up in hosting events. We need to get off our devices (iPhones) and socialize the old-fashioned way... Face to face.

March 27, 2011 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

Tis why I left the city... because I loathed it. (Native Angeleno too, 40 yrs in the city) Midwestern men are tremendous, it is where the real men live.

March 28, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlalady

I'll never turn down your invite, ever. I promise. And I'm not Canadian or from the Midwest.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commentererkcyclisme

Awe, thanks!

March 29, 2011 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

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