I read an article recently called There's No Such Thing As A Free Lunch written by Simone Grant for Simply Solo which got me thinking about what men and women think about who pays for the date. I know what I think: the man pays. Why? Because while women are looking for men they can rely on, men are just looking to get laid. Controversial? You betcha! The truth often is.
Whether emotional, financial, or a combination of both, women want the security of relationship. They want a man who is hard-working, goal oriented and reliable. Courtship, pursuit and romance are sexy and gentlemanly and instill confidence in a woman. When a man is courting a woman, he should demonstrate his ability to care for her. If he cannot or will not pay for dinner, he is not good relationship material.
Sure, there is an expectation of sex when a man goes on a date with a woman. But, there’s an expectation whether he pays for the meal or not. Men want sex. They want it as often as they can get it. For them, it’s a basic biological need like breathing or eating. It doesn’t need to have any meaning or emotion tied to it. In fact, they often prefer when it doesn’t. Psychology Today says that according the Kinsey Report 54 percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day. What you need to realize, ladies, is that you are ladies – not whores – and you do not owe him anything other than a thank you at the end of the evening.
I don’t care how great an evening, how expensive the meal, or how much the man does or doesn’t make. If he asks me on a date and gives me any indication that I should contribute to the bill, he will not get a second date and he will never get laid – at least not by me. He is already showing that he does not respect me. Why would he suddenly respect me after I have sex with him? The contrary is far more likely to occur. If a woman pays, she is telling the man she has low self-esteem, that she is not worth the effort (financial or otherwise), and that she is easy.
Forget how much your date earns and whether he can afford it or not. Ladies, have a little self-respect. Are you not worth a $5 latte, a $30 lunch or an $80 dinner? If you want to give your attention, your self-respect, your precious body, and your hard earned money to a man, go ahead and keep paying for your dates. The end result: he get will eventually get laid and you will get a sick feeling in your stomach the next day wondering why you tried so hard to get his attention when he never called or texted the day after, the week after, or – uh – ever. You’ll also end up paying for a lot of therapy.
As far as I’m concerned, there are only two occasions when a woman should pay for a date. The first is when she’s in a serious committed relationship (ie: there's a rock on her finger) and there is no longer an issue about what’s his and what’s hers. The second is when she is out with a male friend and wants to be very clear that under no circumstances whatsoever is he getting laid.
I am sorry to say this, gentlemen, but the truth often hurts: if you can’t afford the meal, then you probably can’t afford to be in a relationship. Perhaps you should re-evaluate your current career path.