A friend of mine has an old style t-shirt - the kind you would buy at Crazy Shirts while on vacation in Hawaii. Only instead of saying ‘Hawaii Hang Loose’ or ‘My parents went to Hawaii and all they got me was this stupid t-shirt’, it has a cartoon of an egg and a chicken in bed smoking cigarettes with the phrase ‘which came first?’
The expression got me thinking – not so much about which came first in regard to chickens and eggs, but which came first in regard to the inconsiderate jerks and gold-digging whores who dominate the Los Angeles dating scene – and from what I’ve heard the dating scenes of New York, Miami, and several other American cities.
Somewhere along the way, dating has become a very complex, ruthless blood sport with the players of each team trying to get what they want with little to no investment – financial or emotional – on their own part. The men want to get laid; the women want to get paid. But where did it start? What tipped the scales? Who started this war of the sexes and would they please make it stop?
It used to be that men were the primary breadwinners in relationships. Enter women’s lib to confuse the issue. Now women want to work, feel an obligation to work, are expected to work, but are still faced with many inequalities in the work force. Neither wages nor opportunities are equal. The glass ceiling still exists. While it would be nice if opportunities and wages were equal, maybe men and women are not supposed to be doing all the same things. After all, you don’t see a lot of men getting pregnant and popping out babies, do you? We were designed biologically with different skill sets and different chromosomes. To name just a few physical differences, men have more muscle mass and physical strength and women have more body fat. All this trying to put square pegs in round holes is not working. Maybe we should stick to putting round pegs in round holes (wink, wink), as that seems to be pleasing to everyone. I say this having experienced sexual discrimination and harassment in pretty much every job I have ever had. My life would be easier if I could just assume the role of Betty Draper, put on a pretty frock, throw some TV dinners on the table for the kids, hand my husband a martini the minute he walks in the door, do his laundry and maintain the household. I’d trade my independence for that arrangement any day. Show me where to sign.
Given that I do not fit into this modern stereotype in that I am not a gold-digger, but a hard working woman who loves doting on men and wishes she were born in another era, it is to my advantage in the dating arena as I am evidently something of a rare commodity these days. However, there seem to be few single men who escape the label of inconsiderate jerk, thereby making the odds of my finding a match rather slim.
Dating is supposed to be about courtship, romance and love. Not about opportunity, exploitation and war. While Justin Timberlake may have tried to bring sexy back, I’m endeavoring to bring social graces back. If men and women would simply acknowledge that women’s lib failed, we could all be a little more civilized with one another. Men could open doors for women again without worrying that they might be frowned upon by some radical feminist, and women could be vulnerable and sweet again and drop the trying to be equal façade – and the world would be a better place. Besides, we know we’re not equal. We’ve always been and always will be far superior to men. Why should be have to prove it in the work force?