You probably think this post is about you. Don’t you? Don’t You?
Carly Simon, I feel your pain, girl. I've got some clouds in my coffee, too!
In the 1988 movie Beaches, Bette Midler’s character, the cynical, struggling entertainer CC Bloom says “Enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?” A great line from a great movie. Not only is it a great line, but it pretty much sums up dating in Los Angeles. I can’t begin to count how many times I‘ve gone on a date with a man who talks about himself the entire night, never asking me a single question about my life.
This happened again the other night. I had accepted a date through a personalized dating service. They call me about once every three years, whether I want them to or not, to inform me that they have found my ideal match. Yeah, right. And if so, what took you so long? But, in addition to being the world's greatest cynic, I'm also an eternal optimist and a firm believer that dating is a numbers game, so I figured why not? In retrospect, I can think of so many reasons why not. Like, I could have spent the evening drinking a bottle of Peter Michael Chardonnay alone and reorganizing my lingerie drawer. At least that would be fun!
My date – let’s call him Steve – went on and on about his amazing life (or so he must think, since he can’t stop talking about it) for the entire evening. On the rare occasion when there was an opening for me to comment on his monologue, and perhaps offer up information about myself, I got steamrolled over. At the end of the night, he said he had a great time. Of course he did. It was a three-hour All About Steve special. Then, he moved in for a kiss. Are you frickin' kidding me, I thought to myself. Where the hell did that come from? The least he could have done was ask me for a kiss, since he didn’t ask me anything else the entire evening.
The sad thing is, this guy was pretty decent as far as my dates go. He had all the qualities I look for in a man. Except that he also had the qualities of being self-absorbed and suffering from the ‘I can’t stop talking about myself’ syndrome. It could be that he was just extremely insecure and wanted to convince me of what a great guy he is, but then doesn't everyone know that actions speak louder? Had he shown any interest in me whatsoever I would have agreed to another date with him, but if he were to ask me now? Not a snowball's chance in hell. Honestly, I have no idea whether he even liked me. I have to assume that he didn’t. Maybe that’s because he didn’t bother getting to know me. It makes me wonder why he even went out with me.
Here’s a tip: show some interest in your date. If you ignore a woman all night, chances are slim that she’s going to give you a kiss good night or go on a second date with you. She’s certainly not going to hop into bed with you. At least, this woman's not going to!
Moving on to the next contestant.