MillionaireMatch.com - the best dating site for sexy, successful singles!
MillionaireMatch.com - the best dating site for sexy, successful singles!

Lennie's bookshelf: read

Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct Blow Me Blow Me Half Broke Horses The Glass Castle Steve Jobs

More of Lennie's books »
Book recommendations, book reviews, quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists
Search Lennie's Site
Follow Lennie

Now Available!
For International sales or larger orders, please contact sales@lennieross.com
Lennie's Tweets
Admin Login
« If The Bra Fits | Main | The Top 7 Bedroom Moves That Will Rock Her World »

You’re So Vain…  

You probably think this post is about you. Don’t you? Don’t You? 

Carly Simon, I feel your pain, girl. I've got some clouds in my coffee, too!

In the 1988 movie Beaches, Bette Midler’s character, the cynical, struggling entertainer CC Bloom says “Enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?” A great line from a great movie. Not only is it a great line, but it pretty much sums up dating in Los Angeles. I can’t begin to count how many times I‘ve gone on a date with a man who talks about himself the entire night, never asking me a single question about my life.

This happened again the other night. I had accepted a date through a personalized dating service. They call me about once every three years, whether I want them to or not, to inform me that they have found my ideal match. Yeah, right. And if so, what took you so long? But, in addition to being the world's greatest cynic, I'm also an eternal optimist and a firm believer that dating is a numbers game, so I figured why not? In retrospect, I can think of so many reasons why not. Like, I could have spent the evening drinking a bottle of Peter Michael Chardonnay alone and reorganizing my lingerie drawer. At least that would be fun!

My date – let’s call him Steve – went on and on about his amazing life (or so he must think, since he can’t stop talking about it) for the entire evening. On the rare occasion when there was an opening for me to comment on his monologue, and perhaps offer up information about myself, I got steamrolled over. At the end of the night, he said he had a great time. Of course he did. It was a three-hour All About Steve special. Then, he moved in for a kiss. Are you frickin' kidding me, I thought to myself. Where the hell did that come from? The least he could have done was ask me for a kiss, since he didn’t ask me anything else the entire evening.

The sad thing is, this guy was pretty decent as far as my dates go. He had all the qualities I look for in a man. Except that he also had the qualities of being self-absorbed and suffering from the ‘I can’t stop talking about myself’ syndrome. It could be that he was just extremely insecure and wanted to convince me of what a great guy he is, but then doesn't everyone know that actions speak louder? Had he shown any interest in me whatsoever I would have agreed to another date with him, but if he were to ask me now? Not a snowball's chance in hell. Honestly, I have no idea whether he even liked me. I have to assume that he didn’t. Maybe that’s because he didn’t bother getting to know me. It makes me wonder why he even went out with me.

Here’s a tip: show some interest in your date. If you ignore a woman all night, chances are slim that she’s going to give you a kiss good night or go on a second date with you. She’s certainly not going to hop into bed with you. At least, this woman's not going to!

Moving on to the next contestant. 

PrintView Printer Friendly Version

EmailEmail Article to Friend

Reader Comments (6)

This pretty much sums up dating in a lot of cities. I live in Florida, and a lot of times men here aren't that much different. Whether they're heart is in the right place or not, they're so eager to please and let you know how successful or intelligent they are that they forget to get to know you too!

Happened to me many a time! :(


April 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Thanks for your comment, Anne. I have to interpret it as nerves and at least assume they're not all conceited. otherwise I'd get completely discouraged. Instead I'm just 80% discouraged ;)

April 9, 2011 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

OMG. That looks like my girlfriend's husband. I could swear it's him. Where' the photo from? Great article BTW. Can't believe the douche didn't ask you about you. You seem fascinating.

April 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie

"The surest cure for vanity is loneliness. ~Tom Wolfe

It's like the men in larger metropolises feel the need to sell us on their fabulous-ness! The laughable part is when the date concludes these same men, who haven't taken a breath since the beginning of the date, state how fabulous the date was, what amazing listeners we are, and move in for physical validation. Never understood that? Just like you said in your article, how can you like me, you don't know a thing about me? The only cure for this type of mans vanity, nervous coping mechanism, or ego defensive behavior (whatever the case may be) is going to bed alone...again and again.

April 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarrie

Great point, Marrie. The funny thing is he had the audacity to contact me again... after no contact for 2 weeks... And by text, no less (or shall I say no more!!). Needless to say, he gets no second chance. Alone he shall sleep.. Or with some woman with low self esteem.

April 12, 2011 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

The photo is from istockphoto so I doubt it's your friend's husband. Unless he's a model ;)

April 16, 2011 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>