Women who venture into online dating are inundated with winks and emails, often with nothing more than a comment like “I think you’re hot” or worse—a generic message that has obviously been blasted out to several women. A woman learns how to quickly scan a man’s profile for red flags so she can promptly delete (and block) those who aren’t contenders and move onto the next eligible bachelor. Here are a few ACTUAL profile lines that I have come across that do not go over well:
1. She must be pretty, in shape, smart, have a good heart, have a great sense of humor and love sex with the right man: What if she loves sex with the wrong man? It sounds like you’re saying “likes sex but is not a slut” and if that is what you’re saying, don’t say it! Being pretty and in shape are obviously things men desire in a woman and do not need to be said. And, gentlemen, please take a moment to look in the mirror and see what you are bringing to the table (or bedroom), before dishing out such stringent requirements.
2. Sexual compatibility is a must: Obvious. This does not need to be said. In fact, nowhere in your profile should you mention sex, kissing, snuggling, or any other forms of intimacy. Remember, you’re still a stranger and haven’t even had a first date yet. We know you want sex; you’re a man. But, please be a gentleman and don’t talk about it in your profile.
3. I’m 56, but I look 35: First off, let me be the judge of that. And judging by most photos I’ve seen that go along with this statement, I would have to say “Seriously?!? LMAOROTF”. It’s amazing how many men think “looking younger” is a selling feature. It is for women, because men are so agist when it comes to us. But, newsflash, guys. There are plenty of women out there who prefer a mature man in both behavior and looks, and for men age doesn’t matter. What it tells me is that you’re another Peter Pan who refuses to grow up and that, my friend, is not an attractive quality in a man.
4. I’m just a wonderful all around guy!!!!!!!!! I hope there is someone out there that can make me happy: Excessive exclamation points are not masculine and make you look desperate (please like me!!!!!!!!!). The other red flag here is the implication that he isn’t happy. No woman wants to enter into a relationship with a man who doesn’t feel good about himself.
5. I am looking for my soulmate—someone who is honest and looking to have lots of fun and no drama: When a man’s profile says he doesn’t want drama, I think a) it takes two to tango in the drama department, and perhaps this person has their own drama they bring to the party and b) they are stereotyping women as melodramatic and emotional. I’ll pass.
6. Our bodies show us that the man is the giver and the woman receives during the love experience. Therefore the man is to satisfy his lover every, yes every time. Most men have it backwards. Think on that, it is quite transforming when too realize the secret. You have an incredibly attractive look. Your eyes are bedroom eyes. Your body is tantalizing, and so beautiful. Your lips pull me in, and your breasts, well, yes, being honest, are incredibly sexy and gorgeous. Your legs would make it hard for me to leave our bedroom to go to work each morning: Oh gag me, and not in the fun roleplay kind of way. Do not turn your profile into a cheesy romance novel—especially not a bad cheesy romance novel. As mentioned in #2, never talk about, hint towards or even slightly suggest sex (or ever mentions breasts or legs) in your profile. This is something I received long ago as an email through an online dating service. It was obviously a form letter since I did not show my breasts or legs in my photo which makes this all the more repulsive.
7. __________________: Don’t leave your profile blank with nothing filled out and no photo if you actually expect to communicate with someone. Why did you even bother registering on the site and what does it say about the effort you’ll put into a relationship if you can’t even put any effort into your dating profile.
In conclusion, don’t shoot yourself in the foot before you’ve even had a chance to say “hello”. I would love to hear from any women who would like to share the worst dating profile lines they’ve encountered. Gentlemen, feel free to send me yours as well as I plan on doing a “7 Worst Dating Profile Lines for Women” blog too.