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The Right Way To Hit On Women At The Gym

A few weeks ago, I told you why hitting on women at the gym is not a great idea.  But, I know that if you see this amazing girl at the gym and you just have to approach here, you’re going to do what you’re going to do.  At least let me help you by sharing four tips on how to tactfully approach a woman at the gym. 

1.  The Slow Build: Even though you may have been eying her for weeks, she may not have noticed you. So take your time approaching her. Flirting with eye contact and the occasional hello with her will give you an indication as to whether she’s interested. You do not want to rush this process, because you’ll come off aggressive and she may instinctually put her guard up.

2.  Avoid The Sleaze, Please: Skip the cheesy lines like  “Do you come here often?” and never make comments on her body. No leering (especially while she’s stretching), no stalking, and only approach one girl at the gym at a time.

3.  Know When To Quit: If she is showing no interest or is intentionally avoiding you, you might want to take that as a sign that she’s not interested. Time to move on to the next hottest girl at the gym.

4.  When & How To Seal The Deal: When it feels right, when she's showing some interest, then is it time for you to make your move. But, it's important you ask her out the right way, something casual, a smoothie or coffee, sometime after a work out. Giving her advance notice is a good idea.

Check out the video for more details! 

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Reader Comments (9)

Where is that you say you work out? LOL!

June 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterK.p. Hamdan

Hi Lennie, I love your blog, keep up the great work. I am a big fan. You have now done a don't's and do's tips for guys at the gym. I thought it would be helpful for me to share with your female followers 3 helpful tips for how to spot serious, meaningful male partner material at the gym. Naturally, these are generalizations(there are always exceptions) but I hope to stir up some blog controversy for you:) There are 3 T's to consider when determining whether a guy at the gym is a Peter Pan(not good for a meaningful relationship) or a motivated, achievement oriented serious athlete(very good for a meaningful relationship). Tip#1-TIMING- If a guy is in the gym between the hours of 9am and 6pm, that is not a good sign.It usually means they are in the entertainment or fashion business and are self absorbed Peter Pans. It could also mean they are independently wealthy and don't have a real job. Again, bad for many other reasons. Serious, achievement oriented athletes that have real jobs are usually in the gym at 5:30am ,before work. That's who you want. Tip#2-TYPE of training- Peter Pans spend as much time not exercising as they do exercising. They are always "casing the joint" for women to prey on. They are focused on non sports specific, non functional exercises that make them look good versus perform better. Their cardio machine of choice is the elliptical trainer( movement not good for any sport). The serious athlete( better relationship guy) is always doing sports specific functional training. Their cardio equipment of choice is an upright bike, moving stairmaster(not the stepper), treadmill or versa climber. Their strength training regiment includes body weight exercises such as pull ups, not just machines or free weights(Peter Pans). Tip#3-TEMPO- Peter Pans do not wear a heart monitor and allow plenty of time for recovery in between exercises so they can stare at variou parts of the female anatomy. Serious athletes religiously wear a heart rate monitor and are constantly focused on their heart rate,not staring at anatomy. They want to perform better not prey on women! They also are most likely plugged into an ipod to maintain a serious "ops tempo" while they are working out. Research has shown that serious, successful team sports athletes tend to excel in all aspects of their lives, including personal relationships! Lennie, there you have it! "Let the games begin"! Maybe some day our paths will cross, hopefully NOT in the gym!

June 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersoldier

Hey Lennie,

Oh I love this video. To the point and there are some great tips in here. I would also suggest that interactions with this woman should evoke a sense of curiosity in her. Focus on getting that connection with her, finding a joke together, and really building that rapport. Once the rapport and the mystery is established - getting a coffee date with be easy peasy.

Great Video Lennie!

Hot Alpha Female

June 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHot Alpha Female

Thanks Hot Alpha. I appreciate your feedback as I greatly admire your work! Xo

June 8, 2011 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

Well done, I like that you've included video in your post! Great! i totally agree with the comments about the body, too creepy and typical. I also think that a good sense of humour is also very attractive but you better be funny. Your advice is practical and well thought out.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaDivaCucina

Thank you Diva. Yes, humor important. If actually funny!

June 9, 2011 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

Great vid as was the previous on the subject. I am positive many men (including the sales guys I work with) could use these tips and not come off as... well you women know! These tactics can be applied anywhere with some alterations I would think. Just a little opportunistic common sense will get results, if she is interested in most circumstances.

This vid will help the authentic men, but perhaps not the primitive men in the "point and shoot" mode.


June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

Glad you enjoyed the video, Paul. Well, if I can impact a few people's lives, whether through advice, humor, or provoking thought, I feel I have made a difference. And that feels good!

June 9, 2011 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

Great Lennie,

I am helping people right now, as others have helped me. I am sure your words do make a difference in some peoples lives. I wouldn't be commenting if I didn't think you have something of substance to say! A step, and then another...

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

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