Happy Ending?
Saturday, July 30, 2011 at 12:01AM 
I have a girlfriend who used to go to a certain 5-star hotel spa for a weekly massage. I met her a few times after, and she always had a certain bounce in her step and glow to her skin. So, I decided to get a massage at the same hotel. I had a great massage—a bit more expensive than I’d like to pay—but I wasn’t on cloud nine. What was the big deal?
“Did you request Ernesto,” she asked, with a purr. Ernesto? She never told me to request Ernesto. I was curious, so I pried her for more information. Could she possibly be alluding to...? Turns out my girlfriend was getting more than her back rubbed. OMG. “Why?” I asked. She had a boyfriend, albeit he was several years older than her. Why would she let some strange guy get her off on a massage table? “He’s got very skilled hands,” she joked. Enough! I didn’t want to hear it. I put my hands to my ears and started singing “la, la, la, la, la…” to drown out her tales of sexual promiscuity.
Ever since Samantha Jones of Sex and the City went on a mission to get a happy ending massage, the concept has been more intriguing to women—particularly those nearing Cougar age.
Talk of “happy ending” massages has always been centered around men. The Korean massage parlor with beautiful Asian women wearing sexy short outfits look more like strip clubs than day spas, so it’s kind of expected when a man wanders into a joint like that. But, happening to women in a luxury hotel in an American city? It seems far less common for women to "go there." It’s rather obvious when a man gets aroused, and I imagine much easier for the massage therapist to approach the…err…subject.
I think the reason most men won’t see a male massage therapists is because massage can be a sexually arousing experience and no man wants to form a pup tent with the massage sheet with another man in the room. It’s a little less obvious when a woman is aroused. She has to work to get noticed—moan and writhe around on the table saying things like “Ooh, that feels so good…you have such big strong hands…” That’s exactly what my girlfriend did. And Ernesto took the bait. Under normal circumstances, what healthy man wouldn’t? But she was a client at hotel. That just baffles me.
A hand job for a guy is like having an itch scratched and guys will jump through great hoops for a little “relief.” I’m sure the happy ending masseuses are providing this service for bigger tips. Call me a prude, but I can’t get my head around it. I go to a spa for a really great professional massage. The only add-on I’m interested in is a salt scrub. As a woman, I’d feel violated and awkward, and I’d never want to show my face (or butt cheeks) to that spa worker again.
Last week’s news about the Seal Beach massage therapist assaulting his female clients got me thinking about this. Sure, he was a total creep working out of a questionable facility. But, what if your massage therapist a hot tamale? What do you think, ladies? Would you report it, or would you go for it? Would you feel violated, or would you like Ernesto’s number—assuming of course, that Ernesto looks like Rob Lowe?
If you missed Wednesday's blog on 5 Ways Not To Fight Like A Girl, be sure to check it out for a CHANCE TO WIN an autographed copy of my chicklit novel "Blow Me".
Reader Comments (2)
I've had boyfriends' in the past give me massages with happy endings but never from a professional masseuse. And I'd be lying if I said my curiosity wasn't aroused (literally). If the masseuse is quite the spanking hot tamale (along the lines of a Paul Walker / Chris Evans / Bradley Cooper) - then I'd just go with the flow and see just how happy he'd make me. Hell I wouldn't mind paying a nice tip on that too.
Like you said, a massage can result in sexual arousal for men and women - and if its done in a non-creepy manner and the woman gives a green signal - why not ? (if one is open to that sorta thing)
Bradley Cooper on my list of massage therapists too! Though I like my "massage therapists" older, like Rob Lowe, Robert Downey Jr... And such!