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3 Ways To Break A Dating Rut

The other day when I was thinking of what dating saga I would write about next, I realized I hadn’t been on a date in a while. In fact, I hadn’t even gone online to look for a date. I guess partly because I find it insane that I have to hunt for a guy online, instead of just having it happen naturally; and partly, I just didn’t have the time. I had fallen into the most common trap. I had fallen deep into a dating rut. A dating rut is when you don't date, you don't want to date, and you don't make any effort to date. Not advisable if you're looking for a happily ever after!

It was about time I started practicing what I preach. If you are like me and you’re tired of surfing match.com and seeing the same old profiles of the same old guys who just don’t do it for you, then take my advice—and I will endeavor to do the same.

Here are three simple ways to stir up the dating pot and kickstart your dating life. 

1. Get a life: It’s the oldest advice in the book, because it’s good advice. Pursue activities that you enjoy. Go horseback riding in Griffith Park. Sign up for conversational Italian class at the Beverly Hills Lingual Institute. I’m not saying you’ll meet a man at your Bar Method class, but doing activities you enjoy will bolster your ego, your confidence, and most importantly, get you out of the house. If you are feeling desperate and dejected, you’re not going to attract anyone. Having a life will make you feel better about yourself and will make you much more interesting to talk to when you do have that hot date.

2. Just Say No:  If you spend your energy going on dates with men you’re not really interested in because you think you should be putting in the effort or being more open-minded, you will have no energy or faith left when someone amazing comes along. Learn how to say no and spend that time you would be spending on a bad date to do #1—Get A Life! The less you force yourself to date, the more positive you will feel on your dates, and the more likely the chemistry will click when that someone good comes along. If you feel like you’re going out for another round of Chinese water torture when you’re stepping out the door to meet your date, you’re not going to have your A game on for Mister Right.

3. Let’s Get Physical:  Commit to that Crossfit class you’ve wanted to take and invest in your physical appearance with regular facials, manicures, pedicures and bikini waxes. Swing by BLO at the W Hotel in Hollywood and get your hair done just for you. Go to Spraydisole in Studio City for a spray tan. Better yet, have them come to you! Pampering yourself will boost your self-esteem, make you feel more attractive and that will radiate outwards and attract that special someone you’ve been hoping to find.  

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Reader Comments (2)

So glad I found your blog. I'm an instant fan and will return!

It was about a different topic, but an experienced person told me the other day that it was going to be a tough road to hoe. So I went to Home Depot and bought the biggest hoe I could find. Great advice. Dig deep. And you may as well just jump in the whole afterward. Good things will follow. I started online dating in my 50's, years after my one and only husband died. My journey trying to find Mr. Right has been a fishing trip on many lakes only to find Carp in the plural, just like sheep, moose and deer.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAuthor Cindy Lucy

Cindy, welcome! Glad you are enjoying the blog and good luck in the dating world. Try to find a balance between resilience and hopefulness. And, if you want something amusing to read, check out my novel... it's about 3 women in their late 30's in LA trying to find men.

August 11, 2011 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

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