Necessary Roughness is a great new show on USA network, especially now that hottie Jason Gedrick joined the cast as Dani's love interest, JD Aldridge. But, what's got me worked up this week is not Jason's lusciously full head of hair or his G.I. Joe jawline, but rather an article I read in Psychology Today on why gender equality doesn't play well in the bedroom. The low sexual desire in today's woman may have more to do with her strive for equality, than it does with depression, fatigue, or low libido. She is expected to be strong and independent but that goes against her nature in the bedroom.
Over 60% of women experience rape fantasies, and 45% of these rape fantasies are erotic in nature. And that’s just counting women who are willing to admit to having these fantasies! A woman's preference for sexual submission is controlled the unconscious part of her brain. This physical preference is complemented by her psychological preference for dominant men. This is why the best-selling women's fiction—those paperback romance novels you see in the drugstore and at the checkout stand of supermarkets—are so popular. The heroes of these stories are alpha males portrayed to have strength, confidence, deep voices, and great wealth. They are often surgeons, politicians and professional athletes, not accountants, sales clerks, or kindergarten teachers.
It is no coincidence that the heroes in my novel Blow Me are wealthy, successful handsome men. Women want the Cinderella story. We want our Prince Charming. My recent blog 3 Questions Women Ask Men has less to do with financial status and more to do with this desire for domination by a powerful man. The problem with most women's fiction today is that the heroes have become politically correct, and that just doesn't turn us on. Women like bad boys. We are more sexually aroused when the man is the aggressor.
A little physical or verbal dominance goes a long way to amp up your sex life. Put the PC views aside and grab your girl by the ponytail, smack her on the ass and give it to her doggy style. Don't ask her what she wants. Reach into your primal roots and give her what you know she wants and you will both be satisfied. If you are not comfortable roughing things up physically, you can do so verbally. Engage in sexual fantasy by saying you would like to see another man f**k her while you watch. Tell her you want to f**k with her while she’s s**king another man. Tell her you’d like to see her with another woman. Describe the event, and what you would demand of her in the situation. Create the fantasy that you meet her in a hotel bar, get her a little drunk, then rendezvous in the men’s room where she gets you off.
Don't worry, gentlemen, these dominant, male-aggressor, rape–style fantasies do not need to be acted on. Talking about them is enough to ignite your girl. If you want her to speak up more in the bedroom, and give you more then grunts and moans, then give her more to work with. A few phrases that will drive her wild: your body was made for sex, I could f**k you all night, I want to c*m all over your body, I love the way you taste, you are so sexy. Whatever you do, don’t talk romance. Boring. Talk dirty! And don't ask questions, like "What am I doing to you?" She knows what you're doing to her, you're f*cking her, and playing 20 questions takes her out of the moment and into the classroom. Not sexy! Am I right, ladies? Or, am I right!
Now if only I could have Jason Gedrick say these things to me. Well, maybe if I'm lucky I can act that out in a bedroom fantasy one day soon. Sigh.