Clap your hands! If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands! If you’re happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it, if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!!!
It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans week, everyone. Can you believe it? I wonder if Hallmark has a card for this. National Unmarried and Singles Week is celebrated the third full week in September, which this year is September 19th to 25th, 2011. In all my years of being unmarried and single (a double-whammy), I have never heard of this before until my publicist brought it to my attention last week. So, I thought I’d Google it to learn more about it. After all, I am supposedly an expert on being single. I should know these things. The top listing on Google is for a website called National Singles Week which is defunct. Doesn’t seem promising, now, does it! Upon further investigation, I learned that there are an estimated 82 million single and unmarried adults in the United States. Out of roughly 312,215,000 Americans, that’s a whopping 26%. Sure, we’re still technically a minority group, yet nothing to be sneezed at.
There is no shame in being single. What it means is you have high standards. If you have been married in the past and are now single, pat yourself on the back for having the common sense and self-respect to leave something that wasn’t working. If you’ve never been married, kudos to your for not settling for something less than ideal.
A few months back, during wedding season, I wrote a blog called Why I’m Not Married, which comes down to a few things. First, I believe in fairy tale endings, and I’m looking for my Prince Charming. Now, he may not look great in tights and he may not resemble George Clooney, but he will be that perfect man for me—even with his flaws. Second, after all this time alone, why settle? The longer I am single, the more particular I get, but also the more self-assured and confident I become at being single. So, why would I compromise everything I have unless I am quite certain that the sum of two parts will be greater than the parts on their own. Thirdly, well, I don’t know about thirdly. Perhaps it’s all the carefree sexual encounters I can have as a single person. Even though single people tend to be bored silly with casual encounters, from the married perspective the grass is so much greener on our side of the fence. No negative ramifications if you go home with someone at the end of a long night at the bar. What happens in Vegas, doesn’t have to stay in Vegas, it can happen in any city in the world, as long as you’re not worried about STDs (in which case, skip Vegas all together!).
Suffice to say, it’s not all that bad being single. We get the entire bed to ourselves, we can leave dirty dishes in the sink, we don’t have to tippy-toe when we come home late, and we can put our feet up on the coffee table whenever we God damned well please. So, in honor of all us single people out there, I say “who needs marriage?” I’d rather be single and lonely, than married and lonely. How about you?
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