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« Sexy Shoe Diaries - Part 16 | Main | Sexy Shoe Diaries - Part 15 »

Let’s Hear It For The Tan

I was recently on vacation in the sun, and I have the tan lines to prove it. Despite the fact that sitting in the sun is now bad for us (talk about an ill-spent youth), I enjoy having a bit of a glow to my skin. It makes me look and feel healthy. However, I hate tan lines. I prefer to tan topless, or ideally, in the buff. Unfortunately, most places don’t permit nude or topless sunbathing. Could we be a little more of an uptight society? If men can take their shirts off in public, why can’t women?

Years ago, I read an article about a Gwen Jacob from Guelph, Ontario who exercised her rights to equality and walked home topless in 90 degree weather. She was arrested for an indecent act and fined seventy-five dollars. Around the same time, a female journalist in Vancouver, British Columbia spent an entire week going topless anywhere men were seen shirtless. She toted around excerpts from the Canadian Constitution Act to share with anyone who challenged her choice to exercise her equality. As she sat outside the Starbucks on Denman Street sipping her Chai Latte and reading a newspaper, the police would only suggest that she put her top on. They would not arrest her. Talk about provocative journalism. Now, 20 years later, the Canadian judicial system has officially granted women the right to go topless. In the United States, we can only bear our breasts in certain cities. Unfortunately, it’s still illegal in Los Angeles, but feel free to prance around the Upper East Side of Manhattan with your tits on proud display!

Back to my tan lines. I once met a stripper named Dani. No, that’s not the beginning of a limerick, but rather the beginning of my story on tan lines. How did I meet a stripper? Let’s just chalk it up to a number of unusual adventures I have had in the name of writing research. A stunning California blonde with unnaturally full breasts, Dani informed me that men love tan lines when I commented on hers. So convinced of this belief, she had invested $2500 hard-earned dollars in a tanning bed and spent an hour a day in a tiny thong and tiny triangle bikini top soaking up those manufactured UV rays. Every day she carefully placed a playboy bunny decal just above and to the left of her would-be pubic hairline to create a reverse-shadow of Hefner’s famous bunny. As her skin darkened, the bunny silhouette would remain light. It was her trademark tan line and apparently her clients loved it.

Dani was one of the few strippers I met who was intelligent, educated, and skilled enough to work in a number of other occupations. She had designed and sewn her own collection of stripper clothes, taught private and group stripping classes before Sheila Kelly’s S Factor workout glamorized this unglamorous vocation, and she seemed pretty normal—other than the fact that she took her clothes off for money. I have to wonder what happened to Dani, and whether she was right about the tan lines. I also wonder if she regrets the UV exposure and wishes she had invested in a spray tan booth instead.

I ask my readers, what are your thoughts on tan lines? Do you give them bunny ears up or bunny ears down? Or does it depend on how tiny the tan lines are? Is it that itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini that makes the lines sexy? I’m going back to Hawaii soon, so I need to know!

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Reader Comments (7)

It depends on the girl, the body, and how you feel about her. I know, I just totally over complicated a simple question. The answer is no, I don't dig tan lines but if I dig you then they'll be sexy as hell! I love the body on the girl in the pic but can not figure out for the life of me why every body that looks like that these days has to have a bellybutton piercing!?!?

January 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterakaCorkDork

Well, "CorkDork," I look like that but I don't have a belly button piercing, in fact, no piercings at all other than one on each ear to hold my earrings! Lol!
As far as tan lines go, I prefer no lines but I have to agree with "CD" that they can be very sexy depending upon the outfit and occasion. If your out and about in casual attire, I think it's totally fine especially if your sporting a summer top or sundress and you have that suntan glow; however, if you're out at a party wearing a cocktail dress or at a black tie affair in a long gown, I think it looks tacky and would put on a tanning lotion to blend my white skin with the tanned or sunburned skin, whichever is the case!

January 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commenter007jamesbondgirl

Agree with you bond girl that you can look cheap if you have tan lines at the wrong occasion.

January 14, 2012 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

From the sexy point of view I have really never considered tan lines. I didn't know some men thought they were sexy. As to tanning, I had a lot of sun in my youth and now each year my dermatologist has to remove one or two suspicious moles from my back. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

January 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRolando Garcia

Tan lines can be very sexy. Probably just because they instantly draw your attention. However, a nicely tanned beautiful woman is sexy with no tan lines as well. Seeing no tan lines just creates images in my head of her tanning in the buff. And that's an awesome image!
My Lady also tans in the nude, but like the stripper, she does the little sticker too. Her's is actually a heart. When tan, she is extremely dark skinned and seeing that little white heart is very sexy.
I think most men would agree with me that tanned or not, pierced or not, a sexy beautiful women is just a sexy beautiful woman.

January 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWalt Ford

Argh! I hate tan lines too! But I don't think I can bathe under the sun nude.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

Hannah, you need a private back yard for tanning nude

January 20, 2012 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

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