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« Brr, It's A Little Nipply Out. | Main | Sexy Shoe Diaries - Part 16 »

Stealing the Soap  

Since childhood, I have predominantly dated Jewish men. My first love was an eleven year-old boy named Jimmy who I met in Hawaii over the Christmas holidays. We were staying in the same condo development in Lahaina—a place where the non-wealthy vacationed, far away from the fancy hotels of Kaanapali Beach. On our last day of vacation, he knocked on the door of our condo unit and asked if he could kiss me. I said no. I hope I didn’t break his heart.

I like Jewish men. They tend to be educated, kind, intellectual, successful and respectful of women. One thing amusing I have noticed about Jewish men, is that no matter how much money they have, no matter how expensive of a hotel they are staying at, they always steal the soap and the little shampoos. I confess. I have a habit of doing this as well. I get the concept: you’re paying a few hundred bucks a night for the hotel room, what can it hurt to take a few bars of soap? I, however, am a discretionary soap theft. I only take the good stuff, like the Lemon Verbena soap at the Wynn in Los Vegas, the Molton Brown in the Peninsula Beverly Hills, or the Bulgari White Tea from the Four Seasons. I would never even consider stealing those wimpy little bars from the Sheraton.  I mean, they’re like a one use kind of thing.

I’ve noticed that non-Jewish men seem less inclined to steal the soap. There is a classic stereotype that Jewish men are cheap, but I have certainly not found that to be the case or I wouldn’t hang around with them. Perhaps, they just have a clean fetish. This seems more likely as most Jewish men I’ve dated like to shower 2-3 times a day! I can see there being a need for a surplus of soap.

One time, I dated a Jewish guy who wouldn't steal the soap from The Wynn in Las Vegas. He wanted to, but he just couldn’t rationalize it so he offered to buy it. I told a guy friend of mine, also Jewish, about this and he said there’s something wrong with him. I had to agree. The soap at The Wynn is some of the best free soap there is. Turns out, this non-soap-stealer was damaged goods in more ways than just wanting to pay for the soap. That was just an indicator of how emotionally messed up he was that he couldn’t lift a few bars of the good stuff. Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last. I can’t date a man feels he needs to buy the hotel soap.

Whenever I have a man visiting my home, I always put out a fresh bar of soap. Hotel soap. The good stuff. In fact, I have a man visiting tonight. I think I’ll pull out all the stops and put out a nice big bar of Bulgari.


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