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Saturday
Jun022012

Lord of the (Engagement) Ring

I’ve been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life. Bullshit! I call major frickin’ BULLSHIT on that one, motherfucker! If you really mean those words made famous by Mick Jones of Foreigner, act on them. Ladies, don’t be fooled by a guy who says all the right things, makes all the right promises, but never delivers. Actions speak louder than words.

Someone asked me recently “how many years do you have to be together before your figure out that he doesn’t want to marry you?” This reminds me of an old Tootsie Pop commercial from the 70s where a kid asks, “Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?” The owl answered three. If the question was, “How many years does it take to get a ring on your finger?” the owl would have answered one. That’s because owls are wise and old, just like me.

It only takes one year to figure out that a man doesn’t want to marry you. If you spend any more time waiting for your guy to realize that he’s never going to find a better woman than you, then you are doing yourself a disservice and telling him you really aren’t that amazing. The longer you wait, the more your stock goes down in value. Trust me, I’ve made this mistake. There is some truth to the old adage, “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?” Instead of giving him milk, toss a cold glass of water in his face and move on.

It’s really simple. Wear your sexiest outfit and go for a romantic dinner somewhere and ask your boyfriend where he sees the relationship going. If he says “I dunno, I think things are kinda great the way they are” or anything remotely close to this, NEVER have sex with him again. Tell him that you value yourself too much to wait around for him to figure out what he wants. Tell him that you’re ending the relationship, because he’s wasting your time. The tough part is following through with your words, which you must do. Trust me, this will work and you will thank me later.

By ending the relationship, you are in control. You stop waiting for someone else to steer your life. You are in the driver’s seat. If you stay, you risk being dumped a few months down the road when he realizes how unhappy you are that things aren’t moving forward. Here’s where the win-win comes into play. If he really loves you and really wants to be with you, he will come back to you. If he’s smart he will bend down on one knee and propose. Another 70s reference, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s meant to be.” If he doesn’t come back to you, he’s a jerk and you aren’t wasting any more of your precious youth waiting for him. 

 

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Reader Comments (6)

You're assuming every girl WANTS to be married. But if BOTH parties go in knowing the ultimate goal is marriage, then yes - agreed.

June 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMs. Cheevious

I think any woman who says she doesn't want to get married will regret it later in life!

June 4, 2012 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

Blimey Lennie, you never cease to make me hold my head in my hands and cry! Us men have no chance :-) but I love you so xxx

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGordo Manchester

1 year might even be to long ;) I believe in love at first sight—guy perspective—I think a man knows within 1st few dates :)

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPete G

1 year Lenny thats all you give that mother fucker. Women these days dont value there self worth. Men are fucking boys and dont even know how to court a woman. When I met my wife... six weeks into the relationship I brought her a rolex for xmas. The reaction I got from woman was bad. "why are you spending all that money on a girl you just met" If you are going to spend the rest of your life with this person it doesn't mater how much you spend. That was my answer to these stupid women who have no clue. the only thing they got from there relationships is promises. I dont understand why woman put up with all this bullshit. Now Im married to the love of my life, and I am so happy in our marriage. hope all is well with all your endeavors. Best JV

June 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJV

Thanks, JV.

I have made the mistake in the past where I've spent a few years in a relationship trying to "prove my life" and "prove my worth", but now I do have self-esteem and know my worth and truly own it. So, I won't tolerate complacency on the part of a male suitor. Like Beyonce says, "if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it" or something to that effect. Even a pair of diamond stud earrings as a place marker to say "I'm worth waiting for" while a man gets his act together would be acceptable after a year... like a promise ring.. only promise earrings... but with a definitive commitment not some "don't worry about it, everything will be okay" line that lacks commitment and reassurance.

I think a lot of LA Hollywood men and NY finance men think they are so special, because their egos are constantly stroked by their business, that a woman should feel privileged to be with them. They have lost the core male instinct to care for, provide for, and protect a woman. In the end I think those men will be very lonely and unfulfilled.

I hope I can reach even a few women with my blog and urge them to work on their self-esteem. It is so important to a happy, healthy life.

June 9, 2012 | Registered CommenterLennie Ross

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