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« And the winner is... | Main | Wandering Eyes »
Saturday
Jun232012

It’s Complicated

Or, is it? There’s nothing complicated about relationships that work. They’re filled with love, respect, trust, sugar and spice and everything nice that makes you happy to be in a relationship. If your relationship status on Facebook says “It’s Complicated” it’s really pretty easy. It means you have a shitty boyfriend or that you’re dating someone who’s married—which, by the way, means you have a shitty boyfriend, because he’s someone else’s spouse and he isn’t respecting either of you by dipping his proverbial toe (or other body part) in more than one swimming hole. 

Spare yourself the indignity, and move on. Uncomplicate your life and in doing so you will know whether the man you left behind has any integrity. Either he will stay in his complicated mess of a life and you will be free of the anxiety, humiliation, and emotional strain it is causing you, or he will get his act together, clean up his life and come after you in at full-throttle speed. It’s like I said in my blog Lord of the Engagement Ring. It comes down to the cow/free milk analogy. Especially if he’s already paying full-freight on some other cow!

He needs you to quit your job so you can orbit around his life? Not complicated. He picks up the entire tab on your life and provides you with a cohabitation agreement (even if you’re not cohabitating) so that if things don’t work out, you’re not left high and dry and unemployed. Think about it. He's asking you to give up your career and risk everything, and what is he risking? If he loves you and trusts you, he will do this. Otherwise he’s basically entrapping you in the relationship, because the option to leave won’t exist and you will become resentful. It makes more sense for him to provide you with an exit strategy and have the comfort of knowing you’re there because you want to be there—because you’ve always been there.

Even long distance relationships aren’t complicated if you’re truly in love. You figure it out, you commute for a while, and after a few months and one of you moves.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, putting your relationship status on Facebook is stupid, and the categories they offer are not very creative. Why don’t they have “I’m Dating An Asshole”?  If you truly are “In a Relationship” that is the only category worth checking off. It’s complicated means he’s an asshole. End of story.

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