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Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct Blow Me Blow Me Half Broke Horses The Glass Castle Steve Jobs

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Welcome to my blog on dating in Los Angeles.  I hope you find my real life stories and anecdotes on being smart, sexy and single in the City of Angels as amusing (and tragic) as I do.  If you enjoy reading my posts, please share this blog site with your friends, family, loved ones, and less loved ones.  

Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.

Saturday
May282011

Hamm Sandwich, Anyone?

Photo Courtesy of Luck The LadyHaving a rotating booty-call door with interchangeable women coming and going is standard fare for men in Los Angeles. Often these men will have two women at once, hence my term Ham Sandwich one arrogant jerk sandwiched between two desperate women smeared in a little mayo. Did I just cross the appropriate versus inappropriate visual line?

This type of guy is illustrated brilliantly by Jon Hamm in Judd Apatow's new comedy hit Bridesmaids. Hamm plays Ted, the fuck buddy of Annie (Kristen Wiig), a woman of low self-esteem who is down on her luck in love and life. Ted not only treats Annie like trash, but would actually expect her to take out the trash (including the used condoms) when she leaves which is never the next morning, because men like Ted don't do sleepovers. For men like Hamm's character, women are there to perform a service then leave and are treated with about as much regard as a piece of Kleenex used to wrap up a soiled condom. When Annie calls Ted on his shit after he expects her to give a blowjob while he's driving his Porsche, he yells you're no longer my number three. This is news to her, as she never knew there was a number one or two.

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
May252011

3 Male Myths About Hot Women

Here’s a little secret that I want to share with you men out there- hot, sophisticated women, particularly in their 30s and 40s, don’t get hit on as much as you think.  In this video, I'll explain three male myths about hot women and why it's actually a great idea to approach a hot women if you see her sitting alone at a restaurant having dinner.  

Myth #1: Men assume hot women are not single or there's something wrong with them. Not True. Surprisingly there are a tremendous number of hot, single women out there with nothing wrong except that they work and have little time to socialize and meet men. If she's single, it may be she's just waiting for a great guy like you!

Myth #2: Men assume she wants someone equally hot and that they're not in her league. Not True. Men are visual creatures and they check out women's body, but it doesn't mean that women evaluate men the same way. You might think she’s looking for a millionaire with a body like a guy on the cover of Muscle & Fitness, but chances are she's just looking for a great guy.

Myth # 3: Men assume that attractive women are all bitches, because they get hit on all the time. Not True. Attractive women don't get hit on as much as you'd think, because men make these assumptions and don't approach them. And often these women are approached by the sleazy guys they don't want to attract, because they're the only ones with the cohones to hit on them. It doesn’t mean she’s a bitch, just because she’s attractive. There are a lot of attractive women who are really modest about their looks. Plus since they really aren't being hit on all the time, they’re not going to be bitchy. They’re going to be flattered.

In conclusion, you should definitely approach hot women. If a hot woman may seem reserved, it's likely because she's been approached in a sleazy, sexual way so many times that she has some defenses up. Be a gentleman, talk to her like she's a person not a sex object, and she's be impressed. This is where you can benefit from other men's mistakes. 

 

Saturday
May212011

F*ck the F*ck Buddy

I read an article a while back on Dirty In Public, about fuck buddies. The girl was in fuck buddy hell and wished she could have a life do-over and return him to friend status. I know the feeling.

Several years ago I made the mistake of having sex with a good friend of mine. Why? I dunno. I knew he wanted me, and I used to kind of get off on giving a guy something he didn't deserve namely my body. Somehow I viewed this as a power thing. In retrospect, it was the opposite and is no longer a practice to which I subscribe.

Needless to say, once we fucked well, actually it was a lot less than fucking, more of a disappointing (to me) hand job (for him) our relationship was awkward. Whenever we saw each other after that he was seriously DTF and I was seriously not interested. Let s just say I had taken the Ferrari around the block and was unimpressed by the throttle and the run flat tires. I had to sever ties with my friend, because he was pretty much only interested in being my fuck buddy, and I was pretty much only interested in NOT being his fuck buddy.

Years went by. I never called him. He never called me. It was over. Whew. But, I had lost a good friend or so I had thought a good friend. If he truly was a good friend he would have put his shattered male ego aside and his penis back in his pants and dialed it back to friend status right away. Recently, said friend reappeared in my life and now I am faced with keeping him at arms length again, because I get the distinct feeling that he is still DTF. And I am still not.

Marrie from Dirty In Public asks the question, Can a fuck buddy be demoted to just buddy? I say no. At least not without a long term break in the relationship. I am still constantly watching my back with this friend turned almost fuck buddy turned not friend turned friend again 7 years later.

I had a lot of fuck buddies back then, or at least that's what I thought they were. I know now they were just horny guys looking to get their rocks off and I was an easy, low self-esteem target. I say fuck the fuck buddy. It never works out, and the woman ultimately feels taken advantage of unless of course, the fuck buddy is buying her dinner, taking her to the movies and treating her like a girlfriend, in which case he really isn't a fuck buddy then, is he?

Wednesday
May182011

5 Reasons Not To Hit On Women At The Gym

 

You would think the gym would be the perfect place to meet women—You get to scope out their bodies, see them without makeup, and show yourself off at your best—but it's actually a terrible place to pick up women. And if you watch my video, you'll learn just why women do not appreciate being hit on at the gym. 

Saturday
May142011

A Babe In The Woods

I was reading Simone Grant’s article Breathing Self-Doubt and this quote spoke to me:

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”—Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

I came from one of those unhappy families. Though they would probably deny their unhappiness. We looked happy from the outside, but I don’t know if any of us were ever happy on the inside as a family unit. We were stuck with each other. I am fond of a popular greeting card expression: friends are the family you choose for yourself. Unfortunately, we don’t always choose wisely. We often pick the wrong relationships—relationships that reflect our familial relationships.

If familiarity breeds contempt, what does it mean that we keep seeking familiarity in our relationships? Is contempt somehow a comfortable safe haven for us? Freud would have a field day with questions like these. I’m sure he’d somehow spin it all back to his favorite theories: the Oedipus complex and the Electra complex.

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
May112011

Wine and the Single Girl: Que Syrah, Shiraz

 

Summer is here and what better way to mingle and meet other single people than at a wine tasting event. I thought I'd give it a try and check out the SummerTASTE event at The Grove in Los Angeles. Learn About Wine is hosting this wonderful wine tasting series on the first Wednesday of every month from May through October. It's lots of fun, very affordable ($50 in advance for food and wine), and it helps raise money for the TJ Martell Foundation for Children's Cancer and Aids Research. Don't miss out on their next event. It's on June 1st and it's called "Chardonnay vs ABC (anything but Chardonnay)". Maybe I'll see you there. All this wine talk has me thinking about one of my favorite songs...

Party crasher, penny snatcha'
Call me up if you are gangsta'
Don't be fancy
Just get dancey
Why so serious?
So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways
All my underdogs, we will never be, never be
Anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks
Won't you come on, and come on, and
Raise your glass
Just come on and come and
Raise Your Glass!

                ~ Pink