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Welcome to my blog on dating in Los Angeles.  I hope you find my real life stories and anecdotes on being smart, sexy and single in the City of Angels as amusing (and tragic) as I do.  If you enjoy reading my posts, please share this blog site with your friends, family, loved ones, and less loved ones.  

Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.

Entries in Advice for Men (37)


I See Stylish People

Women love fashion. We loves how styles come and go, we love fabrics, textures, and patterns, and we understand color. Men, on the other hand, couldn't care less. Men just think, “I like red. I like green,” and put it together without another thought. Red and pink. Red and green. Green and some other weird shade of green. What-ever! To them, it’s just clothing. It’s sole purpose to keep their private parts covered and perhaps to keep them warm. Come on, guys! There’s way more to it than that.

How does this have anything to do with a blog on dating in Los Angeles? Well, despite the abundance of metrosexual males in this fair city, plenty of men still don’t know how to dress themselves. I often find myself looking at the way a man is dressed and wondering if he's color blind. Many men use this excuse, when in fact only 8% of men suffer from color blindness. I just think their mothers never trained them to care about what works and what doesn’t when it comes to fashion. 

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Woman Speak: What She Says & What She Really Means

A few months ago, my dear friend Marrie Lobel from DirtyinPublic guest-posted on my site with her blogpost: Man Speak. Today she's filling in for me again:

Most men listen to what a woman says, but rarely do they hear what she is saying.  Men, if they’re straight, remain mere yellow belts in the art of understanding women. Luckily, I’m here to help you, Grasshopper. Below is a little list to help men advance in the art of women’s speak. A few men may be masters who know what she means, others mere students…either way, you can thank me later!

Women’s Speak

Maybe = No

We need = I want

I am sorry = You’ll be sorry

I’m bored = Let’s go buy me something; let’s go shopping

I’m tired = No sex tonight   

We need to talk = You f*cked up. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Sure, go ahead = Over my dead body; Go ahead, I double dog dare you

Do what you want = Later, your ass is mine and not in a good way

I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you idiot!

You’re attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Let’s have sex = I want to have a baby

I love you = Let’s get married


5 Ways To Make Your Home Chick-Friendly

We all know men and women have their differences. Example: women are into nesting and making a house a home; men are usually happy if they have a clean shirt to wear—wrinkled or not. Gentlemen, when you have an opportunity to invite a woman to your home, make sure it’s homey and inviting so she’ll feel like taking her shoes off—and perhaps a little more. Here are 5 ways to make your home more chick-friendly:

1. Keep it clean:  I don't mean hide the pornos. Though that's probably not a bad idea…until you get to know her. Wash the dishes, keep the bathroom spotless, and make your bed. Put fresh towels in the bathroom, wipe down the coffee table, and tidy up your desk and bookshelves. Before she arrives, use a room atomizer (fancy word for nice smelling spray) or light scented candles. This may sounds simple, but many guys don't realize how much a woman takes in about your living environment. She’s trying to figure out if she can ever live with you.

2. Extricate the X:  Do not have photos of your ex-girlfriend in picture frames. That will make her jealous and also make her question whether you are truly over her. Keep them tucked away in a box in the back of your closet. Get rid of the other toothbrush, the makeup, tampons and hair products she left in the bathroom drawer. And under no circumstances leave any pieces of a woman's clothing in your apartment unless you want your new relationship to be short lived. Then by all means wedge a pair of panties between the sofa cushions as that is sure to send her packing. 

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Hostile Takeover

“No. No, thank you. No f—ing way, you f—ing a**hole.” Any way a woman says it, the message is the same: she is not interested in dating you.

In the corporate world, a hostile takeover allows a suitor to take over a target company whose management is unwilling to agree to a merger or takeover. A takeover is considered "hostile" if the target company's board rejects the offer, but the bidder continues to pursue it, or the bidder makes the offer directly after having announced its firm intention to make an offer. Sounds an awful lot like Internet dating. 

Lately, I’ve had a lot of men pursue me on Facebook. When I politely reply with “I am only accepting male friends who I know personally, or women who have similar interests,” they get nasty—really nasty. Some men can’t accept “no” for an answer; they resort to the hostile takeover approach to pursuing women.

A recent Facebook suitor said that we had met months ago on an online dating site. I vaguely recognized his photo. Given we hadn’t gone on a date, I was pretty sure I had done my due diligence and had concluded that we were not compatible. Now that I was on Facebook, he was relentless in wanting to meet me or at least have a phone conversation. I told him I wasn’t on Facebook to date, and was no longer on the dating site, because I wasn’t currently looking. He replied with hostility and said that if I wasn’t dating, then either my blog was a complete fraud or I was just avoiding dating him. I don’t feel I have to defend myself. I am not Schwarzenegger, Spitzer or Weiner. I have not done something unethical or immoral and do not have to justify my actions. I am entitled to a private life. I am not on trial.

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Friend Zone or End Zone?

I was recently a guest on “'Game On”, a radio show devoted to the art of meeting and attracting women. One of the topics discussed was whether a guy should accept just being friends with a girl if his objective is either to be in a relationship with her or to have sex with her. You may think those are the same thing, but they’re not. There are boyfriends and there are fuck buddies. Either way, when a woman says she’d like to be friends she does not want to be your girlfriend or your fuck buddy. It is her non-confrontational way of saying “It’s not going to work out. I think we should move on.”

It could be that she’s seeing someone else, but more likely she just doesn’t consider you boyfriend material. Either she’s not sexually attracted to you or she detected some kind of deal-breaker behavior. You may not hear the “let’s be friends” line until the second or third date, which may add to your confusion. She may not have had enough information to make a decision after a first date, or she wasn’t strong enough to say “no” to a second date. Either way, she’s saying “no” now with “let’s be friends.” It’s important that you hear what she’s actually saying.

Everyone on the radio show concurred that the friend zone does not lead to the end zone. You may think you have your foot in the door, and it’s only a matter of time before she lets you all the way in, but that’s not the case.

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5 Common First Date Mistakes

First dates are full of expectation and angst.  Each party comes to the table with a wish list and a deal breaker list, and throughout the course of the date, both the man and the woman are going through their checklist as they size each other up. It’s good to be aware of some common first date mistakes so you don’t wind up on someone’s deal breaker list. In this video I discuss the following 5 common mistakes:

1. Talking Excessively About Yourself

2. Talking About Your Ex

3. Being Negative or Sarcastic

4. Lacking Basic Manners & Social Skills

5. Immediately Asking For A Second Date

I hope you enjoy my video and wish you the best in dating!