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Welcome to my blog on dating in Los Angeles.  I hope you find my real life stories and anecdotes on being smart, sexy and single in the City of Angels as amusing (and tragic) as I do.  If you enjoy reading my posts, please share this blog site with your friends, family, loved ones, and less loved ones.  

Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.

Entries in Advice for Men (37)

Wednesday
Jun082011

The Right Way To Hit On Women At The Gym

A few weeks ago, I told you why hitting on women at the gym is not a great idea.  But, I know that if you see this amazing girl at the gym and you just have to approach here, you’re going to do what you’re going to do.  At least let me help you by sharing four tips on how to tactfully approach a woman at the gym. 

1.  The Slow Build: Even though you may have been eying her for weeks, she may not have noticed you. So take your time approaching her. Flirting with eye contact and the occasional hello with her will give you an indication as to whether she’s interested. You do not want to rush this process, because you’ll come off aggressive and she may instinctually put her guard up.

2.  Avoid The Sleaze, Please: Skip the cheesy lines like  “Do you come here often?” and never make comments on her body. No leering (especially while she’s stretching), no stalking, and only approach one girl at the gym at a time.

3.  Know When To Quit: If she is showing no interest or is intentionally avoiding you, you might want to take that as a sign that she’s not interested. Time to move on to the next hottest girl at the gym.

4.  When & How To Seal The Deal: When it feels right, when she's showing some interest, then is it time for you to make your move. But, it's important you ask her out the right way, something casual, a smoothie or coffee, sometime after a work out. Giving her advance notice is a good idea.

Check out the video for more details! 

Wednesday
May252011

3 Male Myths About Hot Women

Here’s a little secret that I want to share with you men out there- hot, sophisticated women, particularly in their 30s and 40s, don’t get hit on as much as you think.  In this video, I'll explain three male myths about hot women and why it's actually a great idea to approach a hot women if you see her sitting alone at a restaurant having dinner.  

Myth #1: Men assume hot women are not single or there's something wrong with them. Not True. Surprisingly there are a tremendous number of hot, single women out there with nothing wrong except that they work and have little time to socialize and meet men. If she's single, it may be she's just waiting for a great guy like you!

Myth #2: Men assume she wants someone equally hot and that they're not in her league. Not True. Men are visual creatures and they check out women's body, but it doesn't mean that women evaluate men the same way. You might think she’s looking for a millionaire with a body like a guy on the cover of Muscle & Fitness, but chances are she's just looking for a great guy.

Myth # 3: Men assume that attractive women are all bitches, because they get hit on all the time. Not True. Attractive women don't get hit on as much as you'd think, because men make these assumptions and don't approach them. And often these women are approached by the sleazy guys they don't want to attract, because they're the only ones with the cohones to hit on them. It doesn’t mean she’s a bitch, just because she’s attractive. There are a lot of attractive women who are really modest about their looks. Plus since they really aren't being hit on all the time, they’re not going to be bitchy. They’re going to be flattered.

In conclusion, you should definitely approach hot women. If a hot woman may seem reserved, it's likely because she's been approached in a sleazy, sexual way so many times that she has some defenses up. Be a gentleman, talk to her like she's a person not a sex object, and she's be impressed. This is where you can benefit from other men's mistakes. 

 

Wednesday
May182011

5 Reasons Not To Hit On Women At The Gym

 

You would think the gym would be the perfect place to meet women—You get to scope out their bodies, see them without makeup, and show yourself off at your best—but it's actually a terrible place to pick up women. And if you watch my video, you'll learn just why women do not appreciate being hit on at the gym. 

Wednesday
May042011

7 Worst Dating Profile Lines For Men

Women who venture into online dating are inundated with winks and emails, often with nothing more than a comment like “I think you’re hot” or worse—a generic message that has obviously been blasted out to several women. A woman learns how to quickly scan a man’s profile for red flags so she can promptly delete (and block) those who aren’t contenders and move onto the next eligible bachelor.  Here are a few ACTUAL profile lines that I have come across that do not go over well:

1.  She must be pretty, in shape, smart, have a good heart, have a great sense of humor and love sex with the right man: What if she loves sex with the wrong man? It sounds like you’re saying “likes sex but is not a slut” and if that is what you’re saying, don’t say it!

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Wednesday
Apr202011

Top 5 Online Photo Don’ts For Men  

Photo courtesy of comedian Peter Karinen. His NBC web series, Single Dads was recently written up in the NY Times If a picture's worth a thousand words, you don’t want those first words to be “ew, gross!” or “what a loser!” There are many ways in which you can enhance your online profile photo, but there are infinitely more ways in which you can deter women from ever communicating with you. Here’s my list of the top 5 online photo don’ts:

1. Don’t have a shirtless photo: She knows you want to see her naked. The reverse is not necessarily true - especially at the beginning.  Where’s the mystery?  Keep your photos tasteful and do not allude to anything sexual.  If she had a topless photo of herself on her profile, you’d assume she was an escort. Is that what you’re trying to convey, that you’re a gigolo?

2. Don’t have a photo of you in front of a sportscar: It says, “I’m a loser with a small d*ck, but you will appreciate me for my material possessions.”

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Saturday
Apr162011

This One's On Me

I read an article recently called There's No Such Thing As A Free Lunch written by Simone Grant for Simply Solo which got me thinking about what men and women think about who pays for the date. I know what I think: the man pays. Why? Because while women are looking for men they can rely on, men are just looking to get laid. Controversial? You betcha! The truth often is. 

Whether emotional, financial, or a combination of both, women want the security of relationship. They want a man who is hard-working, goal oriented and reliable. Courtship, pursuit and romance are sexy and gentlemanly and instill confidence in a woman. When a man is courting a woman, he should demonstrate his ability to care for her. If he cannot or will not pay for dinner, he is not good relationship material.

Sure, there is an expectation of sex when a man goes on a date with a woman. But, there’s an expectation whether he pays for the meal or not. Men want sex.

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