Dancing Queen: Part One

Why Every Man Should Learn To Dance

I started taking ballroom dance classes at Balliamos Dance Studio in West Hollywood about a month ago. Why? I had been watching one of my idols, Pamela Anderson, a while back on Dancing with the Stars, and I figured if she could do it, so could I. At my age (yes, that remains top secret) I should already know how to do this. My parents loved to ballroom dance. I remember how graceful they looked on the dance floor and how happy my mother seemed when she was being twirled around in my father’s arms. Even as a child, I identified this as being something very romantic and intimate – a prelude to more intimate behavior. Though, ew gross… I never thought of my folks that way. They never had sex. I was a test tube baby! As I got older, I went through my own dance craze era doing the nightclub thing. Even with that alcohol-induced frenzy, I realized that dancing and sex went hand in hand. When I started ballroom, I couldn’t help but get aroused. Not just because I have a hot young dance instructor, but because the music and the movements are very sensual. So I thought I’d see what my dance instructor, Rumen, has to say about dance and romance and whether he felt that knowing how to dance gave men a leg up in the dating world. Join my now and see why it’s cool to fox-trot, two-step and tango your way into a woman’s heart.

If The Shoe Fits

Why Women Are Obsessed With Shoes

When I first moved to Los Angeles, I had six pair of shoes: two pair of comfortable clunky heels in the same style but different colors, two pair of sneakers and two pair of comfortable walking shoes. A decade later and I am like Carrie Bradshaw, a semi-successful writer who spends the better part of every paycheck on Louboutins, YSL’s and Manolos. I now have so many shoes I am running out of closet space. What is wrong with me and every other woman out there who covets the latest style of Jimmy Choos? It's not about comfort, that’s for sure. 

There is nothing comfortable about cramming your foot into a pointy little shoe and teetering on heels all day long. You’re much more likely to sprain an ankle than you are to run a marathon. Women’s shoes aren’t just about fashion; they’re also about sex and self-esteem. Like most animals, we're wired to associate height with power. High-heels make our ankles look sexy, our legs look longer, our ass look smaller and add a sexy sway to our walk. Stilettos force a woman into a primal mating pose called lordosis; her butt lifts and her back arches making her more attractive to men.

The obsession with shoes is nothing new. In previous centuries, shoes were a measure of class. Only the wealthy wore heels. Flats were reserved for those who did manual labor. We still have a bit of that mindset ingrained in us. Sex and the City brought shoes to the foreground, but even Cinderella was devastated when she lost her glass slipper (though that can also be interpreted as something sexual). Join me now, in my video blog, to find out more on why women are obsessed with shoes.

My Lonely Valentine

This year, I’m alone for Valentine’s Day. Not without suitors, but also not at a point where I would celebrate the event and get all lovey-dovey and sentimental with one particular person. I imagine there are a lot of single men and women in the same boat. So what do we do on Valentine’s Day? Do we acknowledge it or ignore it. Going to a movie or dinner is not an option. Restaurants will have those tragically romantic prix fix dinners at outrageous prices, and movies will be crowded and sold out across the board.

Here’s a quick list of things to do for yourself this Valentine’s Day: eat chocolate, spray yourself in perfume, put on some sexy lingerie and take yourself to dinner. Women can do this too! Seriously, if you’re alone this Valentine’s Day, you should do something to love and appreciate yourself. If you’re a woman, this is a slam dunk.

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Top 5 Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas

“Dear Santa…I mean Cupid.  I have been a sexy, hot girlfriend all year…” Hmm. How exactly does one write a Valentine’s Day gift wish list? Now, I think I speak on behalf of 99.9% of all women when I say that men just don’t seem to get the significance of Valentine’s Day. All too often, they wimp out on the gift department or ignore Valentine’s Day all together. Not cool. Negative cool. Think ‘Saudi Arabia in the summer’ cool. Valentine’s Day, albeit a Hallmark Holiday (proof in the pudding - every year around 1 billion Valentine’s cards are sent around the world, making Valentine’s day the second most popular greeting card–giving occasion after Christmas), is of utmost importance to women and simply cannot be ignored if you’re a man in a relationship or actively pursuing one. I know you guys hate shopping, so here’s a list of the five most popular Valentine’s Day gifts. No need to think outside the chocolate box with this one; they are the top five, because they get the job done!

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Catch and Release

Spill wine all over my coat and handbag and don't offer to pay for cleaning, complain about the price of the duck a half-dozen times, make several references to sex and your dick size, talk only about yourself and never inquire about my life, don’t offer to pay for my parking or even walk me to the valet and then text me at 4a.m. after I told you I hate it when people text me between the hours of 11p.m. and 8a.m. Do just one of these things and you’re not likely to get a second date, but all of them in one evening? I hit the jackpot – all this from a man near fifty: from a generation where most mothers stayed at home and raised their children. He has no excuse for being an asshole.  Why are people so completely lacking in social graces these days? Do I have to move to the Midwest, or perhaps Europe, to find a courteous man? 

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7 Online Dating Profile Don't's for Men

Sadly, I’m a bit of an expert at online dating.  Having navigated a variety of dating sites on and off over the past several years, I have seen everything – and I mean everything!  Thanks for sharing, guys, but there are some things I’d rather you just leave to my imagination.

There are profiles that impress a woman and those that repel.  To impress, your profile must stand apart from the others.  It’s amazing how many guys put no effort into their profile. Hot tip: no effort into online profile translates for women to no effort into relationship. It’s a good idea to personalize your profile and not just check off the “likes” and “dislikes”. You don’t want to let your ‘lazy’ show. If you’re going to invest hours in surfing the sites looking for that special someone, start out by investing five minutes in writing something about yourself.  Make sure it’s sincere, original and be sure to employ spell-check.  

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