It’s Complicated

Or, is it? There’s nothing complicated about relationships that work. They’re filled with love, respect, trust, sugar and spice and everything nice that makes you happy to be in a relationship. If your relationship status on Facebook says “It’s Complicated” it’s really pretty easy. It means you have a shitty boyfriend or that you’re dating someone who’s married—which, by the way, means you have a shitty boyfriend, because he’s someone else’s spouse and he isn’t respecting either of you by dipping his proverbial toe (or other body part) in more than one swimming hole. 

Spare yourself the indignity, and move on. Uncomplicate your life and in doing so you will know whether the man you left behind has any integrity. Either he will stay in his complicated mess of a life and you will be free of the anxiety, humiliation, and emotional strain it is causing you, or he will get his act together, clean up his life and come after you in at full-throttle speed. It’s like I said in my blog Lord of the Engagement Ring. It comes down to the cow/free milk analogy. Especially if he’s already paying full-freight on some other cow!

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Wandering Eyes

Should your boyfriend only eyes for you? Should he behave like a horse with blinders on? If you get upset when he looks at another woman, maybe it’s your problem and not his. You should be confident that your man wants to be with you, that he wants to have sex with you, and that he’s completely turned on by you. So what if he casts a glance at another woman? We are ALL visual creatures—both men and women. If we weren’t there’d be no need for advertising which preys on our visual senses as do the products marketed by advertising (just look at how sexy the new white iPad is).

If you’ve watched even one episode of The Client List, a show targeted at the female audience, then you’ll agree that women like to look at a sexy man as much as men like to look at a sexy woman. The entirely unrealistic character, Riley Parks, (played by Jennifer Love Hewitt) has a massage clientele comprised entirely of sexy 30 year-old men with abs of steel and chiseled jaws who look like they walked off the cover of Muscle and Fitness.

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Jealousy Will Get You Nowhere

The other day at Pilates I overheard two women talking about a mutual friend who was more fortunate than they were. Let’s call her Sally, for argument sake. Everything they said about Sally was a criticism. "Most of the time she didn't mention it, but occasionally she slipped up,” one of them said. Really? Slipped up? Like it’s some kind of flaw for to speak of her fortunate life? Is there some unwritten rulebook that says Sally is supposed to hide her lifestyle or apologize for the money either she or her husband earned or inherited? Ladies, please grow up!

Apparently, Sally had mentioned taking her two young children and nanny to Laguna for the long weekend and was shocked at the expensive accommodations—$3000 a night for the four of them. Her comment was clearly one of astonishment not braggadocio. The girls went on to calculate that the number didn't include meals, activities, and of course spa. Sally was surely going to spend time at the spa. After all that's what wealthy women do!

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Lord of the (Engagement) Ring

I’ve been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life. Bullshit! I call major frickin’ BULLSHIT on that one, motherfucker! If you really mean those words made famous by Mick Jones of Foreigner, act on them. Ladies, don’t be fooled by a guy who says all the right things, makes all the right promises, but never delivers. Actions speak louder than words.

Someone asked me recently “how many years do you have to be together before your figure out that he doesn’t want to marry you?” This reminds me of an old Tootsie Pop commercial from the 70s where a kid asks, “Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?” The owl answered three. If the question was, “How many years does it take to get a ring on your finger?” the owl would have answered one. That’s because owls are wise and old, just like me.

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To Google or Not to Google?

You meet a new guy online or in real life and have his name and vitals. Do you Google him? That is the question. My answer: yes and no. Clearly, I have a love/hate relationship with Google.

First, why I love Google: it gives us instant access to any information we want. You want to know Madonna's 2012 concert dates? Google it. Want to know Rob Lowe's first son's name? Google it. Now, for why I hate Google: it gives us instant access to any information we want. Google violates our privacy and makes it ridiculously easy for psychopaths, blackmailers, and stalkers to research their targets. In some areas of Europe, Google Maps in not permitted to publishing aerial photographs of people’s homes. Often, the responsibility is on the homeowner to submit a request to Google by a certain date or one is assumed to have agreed to this lack of privacy. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Just because you have satellites in space doesn't mean you can take a photo of me tanning naked in my back yard and put it on Google Maps.

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Sexy Shoe Diaries - Part 16

If you have been following Shoe Friday from when I used to just post it on my Facebook page, then you might recognize these...I also have them in red. That was when I was being smart and buying two of a great shoe. Also, back when I could afford it, before I decided to self-publish my novel, Blow Me. These YSL black patent open toe platform heels with criss-cross straps are the perfect date shoe. 

When you're running around in your flipflops getting toes painted silver, and that cute guy who knew the right way to hit on you at the gym calls to meet you for an impromptu coffee, you can instantly look date-worthy with a swipe of lip gloss and these sexy stilettos. 

If you like my shoes, you'll love my book. Blow Me is the story of three single girls living in Los Angeles and is the perfect holiday read. You can download it on Amazon Kindle or find other places to buy it by checking out my website.