Man’s Speak: What Men Say & What They Really Mean

Guest Post by Marrie from www.dirtyinpublic.com

"You can't handle the truth!" Jack Nicholson, A Few Good MenGranted men are much less of a mystery to women than women are to men. Men typically speak very plainly and honestly, except when trying to get you to sleep with them, then all bets are off. It isn’t that men are inarticulate oafs, they just speak plainly and lack the ability to candy coat their words like women do so effortlessly. Where men get into trouble is when they try to communicate to a woman, like a woman. Men do this because most men have learned early that if they speak to a woman like a man, straight-from-the-hip, they can expect swift and painful consequences. Most women know the truth about what a man means, we just prefer that the truth not be served raw on a verbal silver platter.

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5 Common First Date Mistakes

First dates are full of expectation and angst.  Each party comes to the table with a wish list and a deal breaker list, and throughout the course of the date, both the man and the woman are going through their checklist as they size each other up. It’s good to be aware of some common first date mistakes so you don’t wind up on someone’s deal breaker list. In this video I discuss the following 5 common mistakes:

1. Talking Excessively About Yourself

2. Talking About Your Ex

3. Being Negative or Sarcastic

4. Lacking Basic Manners & Social Skills

5. Immediately Asking For A Second Date

I hope you enjoy my video and wish you the best in dating! 

This One's On Me

I read an article recently called There's No Such Thing As A Free Lunch written by Simone Grant for Simply Solo which got me thinking about what men and women think about who pays for the date. I know what I think: the man pays. Why? Because while women are looking for men they can rely on, men are just looking to get laid. Controversial? You betcha! The truth often is. 

Whether emotional, financial, or a combination of both, women want the security of relationship. They want a man who is hard-working, goal oriented and reliable. Courtship, pursuit and romance are sexy and gentlemanly and instill confidence in a woman. When a man is courting a woman, he should demonstrate his ability to care for her. If he cannot or will not pay for dinner, he is not good relationship material.

Sure, there is an expectation of sex when a man goes on a date with a woman. But, there’s an expectation whether he pays for the meal or not. Men want sex.

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My Lonely Valentine

This year, I’m alone for Valentine’s Day. Not without suitors, but also not at a point where I would celebrate the event and get all lovey-dovey and sentimental with one particular person. I imagine there are a lot of single men and women in the same boat. So what do we do on Valentine’s Day? Do we acknowledge it or ignore it. Going to a movie or dinner is not an option. Restaurants will have those tragically romantic prix fix dinners at outrageous prices, and movies will be crowded and sold out across the board.

Here’s a quick list of things to do for yourself this Valentine’s Day: eat chocolate, spray yourself in perfume, put on some sexy lingerie and take yourself to dinner. Women can do this too! Seriously, if you’re alone this Valentine’s Day, you should do something to love and appreciate yourself. If you’re a woman, this is a slam dunk.

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Salt of The Urth?

It took only a few months of living in Los Angeles to learn that many unemployed actors and writers spend their days at Urth Caffé, hopelessly hitting on women. Over the past decade of stopping for my morning coffee, I have watched the same faces grow older and more pathetic with time. It seems their dating strategy has failed.

The other night at Osteria Mozza, a man with an English accent approached me. He was divorced, lived in the Hollywood Hills (not in the Bird Streets, like DiCaprio) and worked in finance as a consultant – an entrepreneur of sorts. What’s that expression?  Entrepreneur is French for unemployed? I don’t know what vocations he was currently entre, but it was obvious he wanted to get entre the sheets avec moi. For those who didn’t study languages, that would be a French/English dictionary you’d require at this time. I like Brits. They are salt-of-the-earth people who know how to make a proper cup of tea, so I gave him my number in exchange for his card. He was going out of town until Tuesday and promised to be in touch upon his return.

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5 Dating Resolutions for 2011

Long before The Secret, I had a boyfriend who made me a “vision board” by pasting photos, words and magazine clippings on a big piece of construction paper. It represented who I was and where I wanted to go in life. While this man never supported me financially (in fact, it was the other way around), he got bonus points for being emotionally supportive of my career. Without him, I would have never become a writer nor would I have moved to the United States.

He was the little voice that said “you can do this” as I wrote magazine articles for 50 cents a word and copy for medical brochures (yawn) and real estate brochures (more yawns). I would come home after a long day at my ‘paying gig’ of producing commercials, and he would have music playing, champagne to toast the sunset together, and a bubble bath drawn and lined with candles for me to unwind in while he prepared a gourmet dinner. For years I had the vision board on my wall, probably right until The Secret became popular. Then I tucked it away somewhere, a little embarrassed that it was now the thing to do.

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