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Welcome to my blog on dating in Los Angeles.  I hope you find my real life stories and anecdotes on being smart, sexy and single in the City of Angels as amusing (and tragic) as I do.  If you enjoy reading my posts, please share this blog site with your friends, family, loved ones, and less loved ones.  

Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.

Entries in Building Attraction (6)

Wednesday
Oct192011

3 Reasons Why Not To Dress Like a Ho

Ho, ho, ho! No, Christmas hasn’t come early this year. I’m referring to the women of Los Angeles. I wasn't sure whether I should write about how not to dress like a ho or why not to dress like a ho. One would think that the how is fairly simple: wear age-appropriate clothing that is appropriate in length, don't show too much cleavage, and don’t wear tight clothing. Fairly simple. And yet, I look around Los Angeles and see plenty of women who think that dressing like they’re on the cover of Maxim or Playboy is perfectly acceptable. Newsflash, ladies, its not!

Another way to put it is: go to the bar of Mastro's any evening between 10pm and closing time, note the black chicks with the airbrushed and bejeweled ultra long fingernails, Pamela Anderson hair, transvestite makeup, and dresses that look like they've been spray painted on, and do the opposite! Now that we covered how not to dress like a ho, here are 3 reasons why not to dress like a ho:

1. It Sends The Wrong Message: Unless, the message you’re trying to send is $500 for an hour in your hotel room, anal is extra. A quality man will immediately write you off as being nothing more than an easy lay if you dress trashy. And he won’t respect you in the morning. In fact, he will be long gone by the time you’re ready for your first Starbucks. Intelligent women know that being respected and on equal ground with your man is critical to a long-lasting relationship—or a relationship of any kind, for that matter. Take heed to Aretha’s great lyrics and make sure the message you send is one of respect. If you want him to respect you (which, by the way, you do) then show some respect for yourself!

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
Jun082011

The Right Way To Hit On Women At The Gym

A few weeks ago, I told you why hitting on women at the gym is not a great idea.  But, I know that if you see this amazing girl at the gym and you just have to approach here, you’re going to do what you’re going to do.  At least let me help you by sharing four tips on how to tactfully approach a woman at the gym. 

1.  The Slow Build: Even though you may have been eying her for weeks, she may not have noticed you. So take your time approaching her. Flirting with eye contact and the occasional hello with her will give you an indication as to whether she’s interested. You do not want to rush this process, because you’ll come off aggressive and she may instinctually put her guard up.

2.  Avoid The Sleaze, Please: Skip the cheesy lines like  “Do you come here often?” and never make comments on her body. No leering (especially while she’s stretching), no stalking, and only approach one girl at the gym at a time.

3.  Know When To Quit: If she is showing no interest or is intentionally avoiding you, you might want to take that as a sign that she’s not interested. Time to move on to the next hottest girl at the gym.

4.  When & How To Seal The Deal: When it feels right, when she's showing some interest, then is it time for you to make your move. But, it's important you ask her out the right way, something casual, a smoothie or coffee, sometime after a work out. Giving her advance notice is a good idea.

Check out the video for more details! 

Wednesday
Mar162011

Manscaping Part Two: Why Men Color Their Hair

In the Madmen era, men went to the barber for a buzz cut, swiped on some brylcreem, splashed on a little cologne and they were good to go. Today, men spend almost as much time on personal grooming as women do - getting manicures, pedicures, waxing and hair coloring. Male celebrities such as Brad Pitt, Patrick Dempsey, Ben Stiller and Will Smith color their hair to stay looking youthful for the screen, so why can’t the every day man? Well, it turns out they can and they do, especially here in Los Angeles where they not only frequent the salon, but have their own colorist.  In this blog, we’ll find out more about why men color their hair, whether it’s to appear younger, look more confident, feel more confident, or get more women.

Wednesday
Feb232011

Dancing Queen: Part One

Why Every Man Should Learn To Dance

I started taking ballroom dance classes at Balliamos Dance Studio in West Hollywood about a month ago. Why? I had been watching one of my idols, Pamela Anderson, a while back on Dancing with the Stars, and I figured if she could do it, so could I. At my age (yes, that remains top secret) I should already know how to do this. My parents loved to ballroom dance. I remember how graceful they looked on the dance floor and how happy my mother seemed when she was being twirled around in my father’s arms. Even as a child, I identified this as being something very romantic and intimate – a prelude to more intimate behavior. Though, ew gross… I never thought of my folks that way. They never had sex. I was a test tube baby! As I got older, I went through my own dance craze era doing the nightclub thing. Even with that alcohol-induced frenzy, I realized that dancing and sex went hand in hand. When I started ballroom, I couldn’t help but get aroused. Not just because I have a hot young dance instructor, but because the music and the movements are very sensual. So I thought I’d see what my dance instructor, Rumen, has to say about dance and romance and whether he felt that knowing how to dance gave men a leg up in the dating world. Join my now and see why it’s cool to fox-trot, two-step and tango your way into a woman’s heart.

Wednesday
Feb162011

If The Shoe Fits

Why Women Are Obsessed With Shoes

When I first moved to Los Angeles, I had six pair of shoes: two pair of comfortable clunky heels in the same style but different colors, two pair of sneakers and two pair of comfortable walking shoes. A decade later and I am like Carrie Bradshaw, a semi-successful writer who spends the better part of every paycheck on Louboutins, YSL’s and Manolos. I now have so many shoes I am running out of closet space. What is wrong with me and every other woman out there who covets the latest style of Jimmy Choos? It's not about comfort, that’s for sure. 

There is nothing comfortable about cramming your foot into a pointy little shoe and teetering on heels all day long. You’re much more likely to sprain an ankle than you are to run a marathon. Women’s shoes aren’t just about fashion; they’re also about sex and self-esteem. Like most animals, we're wired to associate height with power. High-heels make our ankles look sexy, our legs look longer, our ass look smaller and add a sexy sway to our walk. Stilettos force a woman into a primal mating pose called lordosis; her butt lifts and her back arches making her more attractive to men.

The obsession with shoes is nothing new. In previous centuries, shoes were a measure of class. Only the wealthy wore heels. Flats were reserved for those who did manual labor. We still have a bit of that mindset ingrained in us. Sex and the City brought shoes to the foreground, but even Cinderella was devastated when she lost her glass slipper (though that can also be interpreted as something sexual). Join me now, in my video blog, to find out more on why women are obsessed with shoes.

Saturday
Dec112010

Pardon Me For Sticking My Tongue Down Your Throat

One of my biggest pet peeves is an inappropriate act of intimacy on a first date. In my books – or blogs – groping, kissing and talking graphically about sex (or one’s virility) are top on the list of first date no-no’s and are only acceptable if the woman overtly leads things in that direction – in which case she is likely either drunk, a slut, or both.

I recently met a 53-year old divorced man from Del Mar who was willing to make the 2-hour drive up to Beverly Hills. Sadly, driving more than 20 minutes for a date is considered impressive by L.A. standards. Most men aren’t willing to drive across town. I have one friend who will only date women who reside within a half-hour driving zone from his home. Consider this: there are roughly 310 million people in the United States. If the odds of meeting your soul mate are one in a million, and you are looking only at members of the opposite sex, then you have roughly 155 chances of finding this person. The chances are slim to none that even one of those potential soul mates lives within a half-hour of you.  Any man who is not willing to drive across town, or drive up from Orange County or San Diego, is an inconsiderate ass and will wind up a pathetic, single aging Playboy dating women half his age, like Charlie Sheen and his Two and a Half Men character Charlie Harper.         

Mr. Del Mar was attractive: tall, intelligent, fit, and a stylish dresser, which earned him an A+ for accuracy of his online profile. But – there’s always a ‘but’ – he had a bit of a smooth-talking, snake-oil peddler quality to him, which reminded me of a used car salesman (albeit luxury pre-owned). Despite saying he was a foodie, he confessed to not liking wine and obviously didn’t know jack-shit about food given the generic chain restaurant he suggested as a meeting place.  You know the type with plastic menus, factory-processed breadsticks, generic wines by the glass listed only as Cabernet, Merlot and Chardonnay, and a TV visible from all angles so one can follow the Clippers losing streak while chowing down on fried calamari. Once upon a time, men sat with their backs to the wall as a protective stance incase any unsavory types entered the restaurant, now they do it for optimum vantage point of the TV. Any restaurant with televised entertainment is not appropriate for a first date, or any date for that matter. I vetoed his choice in favor of E. Baldi on Canon Drive where I also ordered, since he didn’t know how to read “menu Italian”. 

Before our wine arrived, my date put his hand on my thigh. Smooth. Too smooth.  I’m not a rent-a-date. Keep your mitts to yourself! thought I, repositioning my chair to be further away.  This SoCal Casanova was all for fast-tracking right past the unwritten third-date rule that runs rampant in this town. A rule that states that it’s uncool to make sexual advances before the third date, but is widely misinterpreted as expect to get laid by the third date. Before we finished our crudo appetizer, he leaned over and French kissed me. I’m sorry. Did I miss something here? I don’t recall saying that he could touch me, let alone cram his tongue down my throat. Talk about inappropriate first-date conduct. Honestly, gentlemen, that behavior would be the equivalent of me taking a credit card out of my date’s wallet and buying a pair of Jimmy Choos between dinner and dessert. While there are plenty of women in this town who would think nothing of doing that on a first date, I’m sure Mr. Del Mar would not take kindly to that kind of behavior given he had already questioned why all women covet expensive designer shoes.  So we look great with our legs in the air, dumb ass! And since that’s for your benefit, you should buy the damn shoes - and the lingerie.  

I don’t care how attractive, successful, or fit a man is, he has no right to touch me, let alone swap spit with me, on a first date. How about reading my signals – which were nothing like Ooh, baby…grope me at the table and then bang me silly in the restaurant bathroom before dessert. I know all men are looking for a little tongue-down-throat, hand-down-pant action, but can they at least try to wait till after the entrée is cleared before helping themselves to dessert?