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Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct Blow Me Blow Me Half Broke Horses The Glass Castle Steve Jobs

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Welcome to my blog on dating in Los Angeles.  I hope you find my real life stories and anecdotes on being smart, sexy and single in the City of Angels as amusing (and tragic) as I do.  If you enjoy reading my posts, please share this blog site with your friends, family, loved ones, and less loved ones.  

Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.

Entries in Dating at 40 (11)


It’s Complicated

Or, is it? There’s nothing complicated about relationships that work. They’re filled with love, respect, trust, sugar and spice and everything nice that makes you happy to be in a relationship. If your relationship status on Facebook says “It’s Complicated” it’s really pretty easy. It means you have a shitty boyfriend or that you’re dating someone who’s married—which, by the way, means you have a shitty boyfriend, because he’s someone else’s spouse and he isn’t respecting either of you by dipping his proverbial toe (or other body part) in more than one swimming hole. 

Spare yourself the indignity, and move on. Uncomplicate your life and in doing so you will know whether the man you left behind has any integrity. Either he will stay in his complicated mess of a life and you will be free of the anxiety, humiliation, and emotional strain it is causing you, or he will get his act together, clean up his life and come after you in at full-throttle speed. It’s like I said in my blog Lord of the Engagement Ring. It comes down to the cow/free milk analogy. Especially if he’s already paying full-freight on some other cow!

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Road to nowhere

My favorite poem has always been The Road Not Taken (see below) by Robert Frost. I always thought it meant that taking the more challenging path, the less traveled path, is what distinguished the traveler. And, being that I have always taken the less traveled path in life, I identified with this. I was the black sheep of my family. I was a rebel carving my own way in life. I even used the words Yellow Wood as part of my company name, out of respect for this poem.

Recently I did a little research and it appears that my previous interpretation of Robert Frost’s chef-d’ouvre is not correct. The point of the poem is in the line Though as for that the passing there had worn them really about the same which basically means it was no different than the other path. They were both equally worn. So it was only in my perception, and the perception of the traveler in Robert Frost’s poem, that the road was grassy and wanted wear 

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Crazy, crazy for loving you...

Popeye and Olive Oyl in A Date to Skate (1938).

When I was young, I used to love watching Popeye cartoons. Popeye was in love with Olive Oyl, and they had their pet "Eugene the Jeep" and a baby, Swee'Pea. It was all very romantic, even to a kid. But, I should have paid more attention to what Popeye said. Not just the "strong to the finish, cause I eat my spinach" song, but Popeye clearly stated over and over again, "I yam what I yam and you ain't gonna change me..."

It is said the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If that's the case, I'm a certifiable nut job. I've chased a writing career for 20 years, convinced every time that the next project will provide my big break. I've dated the same type of man over and over—a guy who is irresponsible with money and not driven to succeed—believing that if he had me behind him, supporting him emotionally and financially, he could (and would) be my Popeye.

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Here Kitty, Kitty…

Match.com recently rated LA as one of the top ten cities for divorced women with children: making Los Angeles less of a City of Angeles and more a City of Cougars. I’m confused. Does that mean divorced with children is appealing to men? It seems most single men want nothing to do with divorced women—particularly if they have children. Where's the fun in that? Evidently for young men, there's lots of fun in these single Cougar MILFs. 

Lately a lot of 25-year old boys have been flirting with me. When I say flirting, I mean clearly wanting to get it on with me. At least these boys have the cohones to ask me out—more than I can say for 40-60 year old men who seem more accustomed to dialing a number and having a girl show up for an hour than following traditional dating etiquette. Nevertheless, I can’t seem to wrap my head around dating someone younger than me. I guess some people do it—have sex with people half their age—because they can. Maybe it comes from a fear of dying, a quest for eternal youth—like Dorian Gray—or a mere appreciation for beauty, but I think it comes from insecurity.

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Good Friends

I was walking through Whole Foods the other day noting how much the aisles look like a movie set where the products all have unrecognizable brands so as to avoid a lawsuit or give anyone any free publicity. And, I came across a rather creepy looking photo on a cereal box.

The cereal is called Good Friends. The photo is of a hispanic man and white woman in their sixties, smiling very uncomfortably while holding a giant bowl of high-fiber cereal that appears as large as their heads. Whether they are uncomfortable from consuming 50% of their daily fiber, from marketing a product targeted to seniors, or due to some unspoken interracial tension, I will never know. But it got me thinking about what else is wrong with this picture.

How often do you see a handsome older man with a woman of his age group? Never in Los Angeles, I tell you. On the rare occasion you do, the man is not smiling. He is not canoodling. He is not playing footsie. He is sitting across from his septuagenarian counterpart eating in silence and gawking at whatever hot, young woman crosses his line of vision. Not unlike one of the opening scenes in Crazy Stupid Love when Steve Carrell and Julianne Moore, as Cal and Emily, are having dinner.

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Wine & The Single Girl: Home Alone  

Truth be told, the single girl does not have time to shop. She doesn’t have time to cook. She doesn’t have much time to entertain and when she does have time, she'd rather be home alone in front of the TV ordering delivery food from Why Cook?, catching up on her Directv and surfing online dating sites. Of course, the best thing to do is get out of the house and actually meet people face to face instead of Facebook to Facebook, but getting dolled up after a long day of work can seem exhausting in itself. So much easier to just order in. With that in mind, I thought I would suggest a few wine suggestions that will make your home alone experience more palatable.

THAI FOOD: The main ingredients in Thai food are coconut milk, chili, lemongrass, garlic, turmeric, and tamarind. In wine pairing, the key is to balance the sweet, salty, sour, bitter and pungent with similar qualities in the wine. Wines with tropical notes like pineapple, mango, peaches, apricots, lemongrass, and floral notes pair well with the exotic flavors of Thailand. The residual sugars in slightly sweet wines such as Rieslings or light Muscats tame the heat of the chili, while complementing the underlying sweetness of coconut milk, lemongrass and mint. The peppery notes of Austrian and German wines such as Grüner-Veltliner can be complimentary and the floral notes of an Italian Falanghina or Fiano go nicely with the mint and sweet warm spices.

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