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Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct Blow Me Blow Me Half Broke Horses The Glass Castle Steve Jobs

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Welcome to my blog on dating in Los Angeles.  I hope you find my real life stories and anecdotes on being smart, sexy and single in the City of Angels as amusing (and tragic) as I do.  If you enjoy reading my posts, please share this blog site with your friends, family, loved ones, and less loved ones.  

Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.

Entries in Dating Tips (30)

Saturday
Jun022012

Lord of the (Engagement) Ring

I’ve been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life. Bullshit! I call major frickin’ BULLSHIT on that one, motherfucker! If you really mean those words made famous by Mick Jones of Foreigner, act on them. Ladies, don’t be fooled by a guy who says all the right things, makes all the right promises, but never delivers. Actions speak louder than words.

Someone asked me recently “how many years do you have to be together before your figure out that he doesn’t want to marry you?” This reminds me of an old Tootsie Pop commercial from the 70s where a kid asks, “Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?” The owl answered three. If the question was, “How many years does it take to get a ring on your finger?” the owl would have answered one. That’s because owls are wise and old, just like me.

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Saturday
Feb252012

The Award For Best Actress Goes To...

Its Oscar season, and the nominees for best actor/actress in a social media performance are:

Kim Kardashian for faking her relationship with Kris Humphries to the point of buying herself her own engagement ring and pretending he bought it for her so she would not have to feel and look pathetic by still being single in her thirties.

Charlie Sheen for parlaying his personal rage into a show idea called “Anger Management” and acting sane enough to convince the FX network executives to give him a shot after he already berated and humiliated the network executives on Two and a Half Men.

Crystal Harris (25) for pretending she was in love with Hugh Hefner (85), who is old enough to be her grandfather, then having the common sense to call off the wedding five days before tying the knot.

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Wednesday
Dec072011

5 Ways To Effectively Alienate A Man

You know the movie How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days? Well, I see that and raise it by 7 days. I can show you how to lose a guy in 3 days or less. Want to alienate your man? Follow these five easy steps and you’re guaranteed to push him away and right into another girl’s arms.

WANT STUFF: I can’t stress enough what a turn off this is to a man. The more you want, the more he sees dollar signs and feels like he will never be able to satisfy your needs. Start every sentence with the words “I want” and talk about all the materialistic things you like. Constantly designer name drop and incorporate these words into your “I want” mantra: Louis Vuitton, Gucci and Chanel. Ask him if he likes shopping. Tell him you want diamond stud earrings—at least 3 carats per ear. Tell him you want an Aston Martin or an Audi R8. And don’t forget to ask him what kind of car he drives, where he lives and how much money he makes.

TALK BABIES: Whatever you do, don’t talk like a baby. Don’t say “I wuv you,” because that turns guys on. They like women who act like little girlie girls. Instead, talk about wanting babies, about fertility issues, freezing embryos, aging and menopause. Oh, and don’t forget to talk about the irregularity of your period and how many times you’ve had to pee on a stick hoping you’re not pregnant, because your period was late. Nothing turns a man off more than talking about your womanly issues.

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Wednesday
Nov162011

Four Simple Things Men Need From Women

You wanted to find a man—your knight in shining armor with his white horse—and you sought him out like a St. Bernard seeks out a trapped skier in a snowstorm. Whether it was a search and rescue mission or a search and be rescued mission doesn't matter. You have your ideal man. Now you want your ideal relationship. Here's how to achieve it.  It's simple. There is no limit to what a man will do for you if you understand his four basic needs:

MEN NEED APPRECIATION: Men need to feel appreciated. They will do many things for you from opening your car door to buying you a new car if you show them that they are appreciated. Make a conscious effort to say thank you and to tell him you appreciate him. Even simple domestic tasks like taking out the trash or stopping to pick up the dry-cleaning for you should be acknowledged. Do little things to show him you care, like buy him a 6-pack of his favorite beer, or bake him a pie.

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Saturday
Nov122011

Wine and Porsches

Things I am passionate about: great wine, fast cars, fast women. Scratch that. I am a fast woman, or so I like to think! *joke* While I do like wine and Porsches, my interests span much broader than just that, and so do my life aspirations. Our overall goal in life is to be happy. How you get from A) not happy, or not as happy as you want to be, to B) happy, or over the moon ecstatic is, up to the individual. What’s important is to keep focused on the goal.

First, you need to know what makes you happy. I suggest writing a list. The things that make you happy, and the things you want to do—a bucket list of sorts—that will bring you more happiness. Will jumping out of a plane with a parachute strapped to your back make you happy? What about taking a cooking course in Alba during truffle season? Have you always wanted to learn how to ballroom dance? Do you want to travel more to exotic locales like Burma and Laos? If you know what’s on your list, then you know what defines you, and finding a mate or life partner will be easier. Just look for that person with a similar or complimentary list.

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Wednesday
Nov092011

What Not To Do After A Break Up

According to Neil Sedaka, breaking up is hard to do. Nobody said it was gonna be easy. A woman can make a break up even harder on herself by doing the wrong things instead of the right things.  Here are three things a woman should not do right after a break up and why:

Trash Your X On Facebook: Even if you are bitter, there is no point in telling all your friends and their friends how you feel. Talking trash about your X may feel good, but it will only make you look bad, and it may alienate the people close to you. Instead, write it all out in a letter. Vent until your heart is content. Mail yourself the letter, and keep it unopened for a month. After a month, open it. You will see the progress you made and be glad you didn’t share those thoughts with your friends, family and co-workers. Then you can take a match to the letter and burn it along with those bad memories.

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