5 Reasons Why Women Should Complain Less

Bitch, bitch, bitch. How often do you hear your girlfriends complaining about their lives? Face it, ladies. We like to complain. In fact, we speak in complaints. It is how we communicate. While it may work just fine when we’re around other women, it does not work with men. If you want to form a closer bond with the man in your life, you need to dial down the complaints, and learn to speak in a language he understands. Here are just a few pointers on how to communicate more effectively with your significant other:

1. MEN HATE COMPLAINTS: The words “why” and “you” in any combination will set your man on the defensive. Eliminate phrases such as “Why won’t you…”, “Why can’t you…”, and “Why don’t you…” from your dialogue. Men are competitive creatures, and when challenged they will often fight. You can still win your point, by using a different strategy. Turn complaints into compliments, by phrasing your complaints as compliments, by saying “I love it when you….” or “I really appreciate it when you…”. You get more bees with honey.

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5 Ways Not To Fight Like A Girl

(followed by a contest on how to win a copy of my novel)

How you handle fights or disagreements, as I prefer to call them, will greatly impact your relationship. Women deal with conflict in entirely different ways than men. If you want to communicate effectively with the man in your life, then you need to speak his language. Here are five tips on how to get through a fight with your relationship intact:

1. Think before you speak: Women tend to be emotional and reactionary. Men don't respond well to either of these qualities. They like calm, rational presentations. Take a moment (or a day) to get over the anger, gain some perspective, and analyze what you are upset about and why it upsets you, and then present your concern in a clear, concise manner. Never send an angry email. You can write it, but wait 24 hours and read it again, and even bounce it off a friend, before hitting send.

2. Sotto Voce: If you want to be heard, don’t yell. You will only strain your vocal chords. Men are experts at tuning out the noise, and to them, yelling is noise. A better strategy is to use your "inside voice". Imagine a baby is sleeping and you don't want to wake it when you address what upset you. Mary Poppins said it best: “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...”

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