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Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct Blow Me Blow Me Half Broke Horses The Glass Castle Steve Jobs

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Welcome to my blog on dating in Los Angeles.  I hope you find my real life stories and anecdotes on being smart, sexy and single in the City of Angels as amusing (and tragic) as I do.  If you enjoy reading my posts, please share this blog site with your friends, family, loved ones, and less loved ones.  

Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.

Entries in First Dates (13)

Wednesday
May112011

Wine and the Single Girl: Que Syrah, Shiraz

 

Summer is here and what better way to mingle and meet other single people than at a wine tasting event. I thought I'd give it a try and check out the SummerTASTE event at The Grove in Los Angeles. Learn About Wine is hosting this wonderful wine tasting series on the first Wednesday of every month from May through October. It's lots of fun, very affordable ($50 in advance for food and wine), and it helps raise money for the TJ Martell Foundation for Children's Cancer and Aids Research. Don't miss out on their next event. It's on June 1st and it's called "Chardonnay vs ABC (anything but Chardonnay)". Maybe I'll see you there. All this wine talk has me thinking about one of my favorite songs...

Party crasher, penny snatcha'
Call me up if you are gangsta'
Don't be fancy
Just get dancey
Why so serious?
So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways
All my underdogs, we will never be, never be
Anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks
Won't you come on, and come on, and
Raise your glass
Just come on and come and
Raise Your Glass!

                ~ Pink 

Wednesday
Apr272011

Lennie Gets A Spray Tan

Dating is challenging at the best of times. But, what about when you just don't feel or look your greatest and you have a big date?  Well, that's when it's time for a little liquid sunshine. That's right, a spray tan. According to Svetlana at Spray Di Sole here in Los Angeles, getting a spray tan before a date can boost self-esteem by making you look and feel great. It's can also make you look a good five pounds thinner. And, it's sugar based, so it's not bad for you. No harsh chemicals. No streaks. No looking orange. So why not? Join me as I boost my self esteem with a little Spray Di Sole tan. 

Saturday
Apr162011

This One's On Me

I read an article recently called There's No Such Thing As A Free Lunch written by Simone Grant for Simply Solo which got me thinking about what men and women think about who pays for the date. I know what I think: the man pays. Why? Because while women are looking for men they can rely on, men are just looking to get laid. Controversial? You betcha! The truth often is. 

Whether emotional, financial, or a combination of both, women want the security of relationship. They want a man who is hard-working, goal oriented and reliable. Courtship, pursuit and romance are sexy and gentlemanly and instill confidence in a woman. When a man is courting a woman, he should demonstrate his ability to care for her. If he cannot or will not pay for dinner, he is not good relationship material.

Sure, there is an expectation of sex when a man goes on a date with a woman. But, there’s an expectation whether he pays for the meal or not. Men want sex.

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Saturday
Apr092011

You’re So Vain…  

You probably think this post is about you. Don’t you? Don’t You? 

Carly Simon, I feel your pain, girl. I've got some clouds in my coffee, too!

In the 1988 movie Beaches, Bette Midler’s character, the cynical, struggling entertainer CC Bloom says “Enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?” A great line from a great movie. Not only is it a great line, but it pretty much sums up dating in Los Angeles. I can’t begin to count how many times I‘ve gone on a date with a man who talks about himself the entire night, never asking me a single question about my life.

This happened again the other night. I had accepted a date through a personalized dating service. They call me about once every three years, whether I want them to or not, to inform me that they have found my ideal match. Yeah, right. And if so, what took you so long? But, in addition to being the world's greatest cynic, I'm also an eternal optimist and a firm believer that dating is a numbers game, so I figured why not? In retrospect, I can think of so many reasons why not. Like, I could have spent the evening drinking a bottle of Peter Michael Chardonnay alone and reorganizing my lingerie drawer. At least that would be fun!

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Saturday
Jan082011

10 First-Date Don't's For Men

How many times have you gone on a date, assumed everything was going just great, and never gotten a second date? We know it happens, because we women make it happen. Women are really good at pretending we’re having a good time (it’s called being polite), when we’d really like to choke on a piece of steak and get rushed to the hospital than endure the rest of a bad date. 

Gentlemen, if you don’t know why you’re not getting a second date, here’s a list of “dating don’ts” that might help you figure out where you’re going wrong.

1. Expect Your Date To Pay For Half: Leave “going Dutch” to the Dutch. It does not fly in the United States. A gentleman always pays. If you don’t like this rule, consider a sex change or moving to Amsterdam - or both.

2. Complain About The Price Of The Meal: If you can’t afford the meal, you can’t afford the girl. If she chose the restaurant and it’s too expensive for your taste that tells you something about your compatibility.

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Saturday
Dec112010

Pardon Me For Sticking My Tongue Down Your Throat

One of my biggest pet peeves is an inappropriate act of intimacy on a first date. In my books – or blogs – groping, kissing and talking graphically about sex (or one’s virility) are top on the list of first date no-no’s and are only acceptable if the woman overtly leads things in that direction – in which case she is likely either drunk, a slut, or both.

I recently met a 53-year old divorced man from Del Mar who was willing to make the 2-hour drive up to Beverly Hills. Sadly, driving more than 20 minutes for a date is considered impressive by L.A. standards. Most men aren’t willing to drive across town. I have one friend who will only date women who reside within a half-hour driving zone from his home. Consider this: there are roughly 310 million people in the United States. If the odds of meeting your soul mate are one in a million, and you are looking only at members of the opposite sex, then you have roughly 155 chances of finding this person. The chances are slim to none that even one of those potential soul mates lives within a half-hour of you.  Any man who is not willing to drive across town, or drive up from Orange County or San Diego, is an inconsiderate ass and will wind up a pathetic, single aging Playboy dating women half his age, like Charlie Sheen and his Two and a Half Men character Charlie Harper.         

Mr. Del Mar was attractive: tall, intelligent, fit, and a stylish dresser, which earned him an A+ for accuracy of his online profile. But – there’s always a ‘but’ – he had a bit of a smooth-talking, snake-oil peddler quality to him, which reminded me of a used car salesman (albeit luxury pre-owned). Despite saying he was a foodie, he confessed to not liking wine and obviously didn’t know jack-shit about food given the generic chain restaurant he suggested as a meeting place.  You know the type with plastic menus, factory-processed breadsticks, generic wines by the glass listed only as Cabernet, Merlot and Chardonnay, and a TV visible from all angles so one can follow the Clippers losing streak while chowing down on fried calamari. Once upon a time, men sat with their backs to the wall as a protective stance incase any unsavory types entered the restaurant, now they do it for optimum vantage point of the TV. Any restaurant with televised entertainment is not appropriate for a first date, or any date for that matter. I vetoed his choice in favor of E. Baldi on Canon Drive where I also ordered, since he didn’t know how to read “menu Italian”. 

Before our wine arrived, my date put his hand on my thigh. Smooth. Too smooth.  I’m not a rent-a-date. Keep your mitts to yourself! thought I, repositioning my chair to be further away.  This SoCal Casanova was all for fast-tracking right past the unwritten third-date rule that runs rampant in this town. A rule that states that it’s uncool to make sexual advances before the third date, but is widely misinterpreted as expect to get laid by the third date. Before we finished our crudo appetizer, he leaned over and French kissed me. I’m sorry. Did I miss something here? I don’t recall saying that he could touch me, let alone cram his tongue down my throat. Talk about inappropriate first-date conduct. Honestly, gentlemen, that behavior would be the equivalent of me taking a credit card out of my date’s wallet and buying a pair of Jimmy Choos between dinner and dessert. While there are plenty of women in this town who would think nothing of doing that on a first date, I’m sure Mr. Del Mar would not take kindly to that kind of behavior given he had already questioned why all women covet expensive designer shoes.  So we look great with our legs in the air, dumb ass! And since that’s for your benefit, you should buy the damn shoes - and the lingerie.  

I don’t care how attractive, successful, or fit a man is, he has no right to touch me, let alone swap spit with me, on a first date. How about reading my signals – which were nothing like Ooh, baby…grope me at the table and then bang me silly in the restaurant bathroom before dessert. I know all men are looking for a little tongue-down-throat, hand-down-pant action, but can they at least try to wait till after the entrée is cleared before helping themselves to dessert?