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Welcome to my blog on dating in Los Angeles.  I hope you find my real life stories and anecdotes on being smart, sexy and single in the City of Angels as amusing (and tragic) as I do.  If you enjoy reading my posts, please share this blog site with your friends, family, loved ones, and less loved ones.  

Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.

Entries in Health & Beauty (15)

Saturday
May122012

iPee

Long before George Costanza announced his invention of the iToilet app on the Seinfeld reunion episode, I had thought of this very concept. Having driven from Los Angeles to San Diego on many occasions, I’ve learned exactly where to stop for a clean bathroom and where not to stop. I have even taken to keeping a Starbucks paper cup on the floor of the passenger seat of my car—for roadside emergencies.

As a woman, peeing is a very big part of my life. It’s something I do often, and something I do well. While drinking three liters of water a day may have something to do with it, I’ve heard that women also have smaller bladders than men—or at least intolerance for a full bladder. Like Peter MacNicol’s character John Cage, the quirky Senior Partner at Cage & Fish on the acclaimed TV series of the 90s, Ally McBeal, I like a fresh bowl. I also like a clean bathroom, one that smells of flowers and candles not bleach and stale urine.

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Saturday
Apr212012

The Table Touch Up

I have this little pet peeve. Those who know me well know that I have more than one, but let’s focus on just one for now. I can’t stand it when women touch up their face at the table. Forget rude, it’s déclassé, which in laymen’s terms means tacky. 

According to the United States Dining Etiquette Guide, applying lipstick at the table is as serious a no-no as using a toothpick at the table. If you’re on a date, a “table touch up” makes you look vain and high maintenance. The man sitting across from you has been looking at your shiny nose and bare lips throughout the entire meal. Why the sudden need to hide that from him? Makeup is about mystery. The mystery is gone if you apply it in public. Much easier to simply excuse yourself—allowing him an opportunity to show his manners by standing as you stand, and even assisting you with your chair—and make your way to the ladies’ room to primp and preen, and tinkle and text. Yes, texting at the table is also inappropriate.

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Saturday
Jan282012

Brr, It's A Little Nipply Out.

The cold weather is here and so are my nipples, and I am not going to hide them despite a recent article on EcoSalon declaring nipple visibility a fashion faux pas. I’m not some feminist radical Jane Fonda of the 70s type women, but I hate bras. I hate the way they feel. They are uncomfortable. They bind, they chafe, and when you have small breasts, they ride up. There’s nothing to weigh them down. I’d like to burn all my bras, but I’m afraid the stench of melting fabric, under-wires, and foam in my fireplace would draw unwanted attention by the police and fire department.

When I wear a bra it looks like I’m trying too hard—like a little girl playing dress up in mommy’s clothes and using lipstick as rouge all over her cheeks. I look better braless. All flat-chested women do. Jodie Foster has proven this point year after year by wearing plunging Armani necklines to the Oscars. 

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Wednesday
Oct262011

5 Physical Deal Breakers For Men

A few weeks ago I addressed the 5 Physical Deal Breakers For Women: Bad Breath, Greasy Skin, Ugly Hands, Nasty Feet and Excess Body Hair. All easily rectified with a little regular grooming maintenance.

Men also have their deal breakers when looking for a woman. I know, it seems most men are looking for the perfect woman with the perfect face, the perfect abs, and the perfect perky breasts. But, according to a recent survey I conducted, these are the top five physical deal breakers men have when looking for a girlfriend:

UNDER WEIGHT: That’s right, ladies, men don't think thin is beautiful; women do. Men find anorexic-looking women, or as I call them tits on a stick, unattractive. Skinny is not sexy. Toned is sexy. Moreover, men don’t want to hear a woman complain about her weight or hear her say she's fat. So, grab a club sandwich with extra mayo and get that body fat up to a healthy 24% and lift a few weights while your at it.

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Saturday
Oct152011

Pillow Talk

I lay in bed this morning, my cat nestled beside me snoring, and thought about how difficult it would be to share my bed with someone—other than a cat—on a permanent basis. I love sleeping. I love my pillows. I love my 300 thread count cotton sheets. I love my Duxiana bed. The idea of waking up next to someone every day for the rest of my life is very appealing on some levels, but the idea of having to share a queen-sized, or even a king-sized bed, with another person is less than appealing.

Prior to 1925 there was no such thing as a master bedroom. The term did not exist. Much as the infamous metal sign in the Hollywood Hills which originally read “Hollywoodland” started as a real estate promotional stunt to market an undesirable area of Los Angeles, the concept of a master bedroom was created as the United States entered the Great Depression. It was a time when land was at a premium and most married couples could not afford two bedrooms. One large bedroom occupied less square footage. It was an illusion of grandeur, and a fantastic marketing tool. By the 50's, master bedrooms were common place. Today’s critically acclaimed TV show Mad Men, set in the 50s, has Don and Betty Draper sharing one bed in a master bedroom. However, in the 1969 TV series The Brady Bunch, Mike and Carol Brady shared a master bedroom with two single beds, because it was a family show. Eventually the master bedroom became the norm, as did sharing one large bed.

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Wednesday
Sep142011

5 Physical Deal Breakers For Women

Men have their deal breakers and they usually go something like this: overweight, underweight, out of shape. Most men are looking for the perfect woman with the perfect face, the perfect abs, and the perfect perky breasts. My question to them is quite simply, “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

Women can be just as particular when it comes to physical deal breakers in a prospective partner. While we may be able to deal with little love handles or a receding hairline, there are some things we just cannot look past. Here are the top five physical deal breakers for women and how to fix them:

1. Bad Breath: Bad Breath is the number one thing women find repulsive in men, and 50-65% of people suffer from it. To keep her kissing you, use a Sonicare toothbrush to clean those hard to get places between teeth and under the gums, floss daily and brush within 20 min after eating EVERY time to avoid plaque and tartar build up. Use a tongue scraper with Breath RX  or toothpaste to kill bacteria.  Avoid mouthwash—it contains alcohol (alcohol=sugar=bacteria breeding ground). Quit smoking.  If you’re doing all the above and still have problems, they could be coming from your stomach. Eat parsley before a date. The oils will neutralize bad breath.  Also try taking a once-a-day acid reflux medication.

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