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Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct Blow Me Blow Me Half Broke Horses The Glass Castle Steve Jobs

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Welcome to my blog on dating in Los Angeles.  I hope you find my real life stories and anecdotes on being smart, sexy and single in the City of Angels as amusing (and tragic) as I do.  If you enjoy reading my posts, please share this blog site with your friends, family, loved ones, and less loved ones.  

Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.

Entries in Marriage (8)

Saturday
May262012

I Started A Joke…  

Robin Gibb in Dubai, March 2008, courtesy of Robin ReignsThe first time I heard the song “I Started a Joke” by the BeeGees I must have been ten years old—maybe younger. There was something so sad about the lyrics. I never really stopped to think about them, but Robin Gibb’s recent passing has made me pause to ponder their poignancy.

Many people I know are unhappy in their marriages and unhappy with their lives. Few of us seem to have the courage to do anything about it. Our guilt, sense of obligation and fears paralyze us. Eventually, the idea of changing our lives becomes nothing more than a fantasy. I was in an unhappy relationship for a long time. Hell, I’ve been in several unhappy relationships. I stayed because I was not strong enough to leave. Instead, I lived in hope that one day the man I loved would make me a priority in his life. Eventually, after being my self-esteem into the ground and developing so much resentment towards the person I loved for not acknowledging my needs, I would leave.

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Saturday
Jan072012

You’re Not My Friend Anymore  

As a kid, I grew up in a very Brady neighborhood. Thinking back, it bore an uncanny resemblance to the back lot of Universal Studios—minus the big pond with the shark from Jaws. After school, the neighborhood kids would gather on one of the many cul-de-sacs to play until their mothers called or fathers whistled that it was time for dinner.

Once in a while, a couple of kids would get in a fight over Freeze Tag rules, or someone cheating in a game of Hide and Go Seek. The host of the party, the one whose lawn we were using as a playing field, would then declare to his newfound nemesis “You’re not my friend anymore. Get off my property.” There would be a little pushing and shoving, and ultimately the play date would end with everyone feeling uncomfortable. Such disagreements would often linger a few days, until someone needed another kid for a game of Red Rover. The feuding kids would end up on the same team, be forced to work out their differences, and go back to being friends again. 

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Wednesday
Oct122011

7 Clues He’s Too Immature For You

We’ve all been there, in a relationship with a guy who’d rather play Wii with your kid brother than make out with you. Your first instinct is to ask yourself “What’s wrong with me?” There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just that he’s too immature for you.

They say that men mature slower than women. We've all met the guy in this 30s who acts goofy, says stupid things, and behaves insensitively, and it's a complete turn off for a woman who is looking for a serious relationship. Women want a confident, reassuring man, which is often why women are attracted to older men. 

If you’re still in boyfriend/girlfriend status and are ready for something serious, it’s time to weed out the boys from the men. Don’t know the signs? For all you women in your 30’s who don’t want to squander precious time with a guy who’s not willing to commit, here are my top seven clues he's too immature:

1. He has a job; not a career: If he's finished college, over 30, and still works as a lifeguard in the summer and ski patrol in the winter, is a bartender at TGI Fridays, or works a salesclerk at The Gap, he’s not taking his life seriously and neither should you. This is a sign of someone who is lazy and lacking ambition. If you’re in the market for a marriage-minded man, you need to listen to your mother and find a nice doctor, lawyer or hell… even an investment banker would be better than that!

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Saturday
Oct012011

Is The Grass Greener Or Do I Need Lasik Surgery?

One of my favorite movies is Runaway Bride, a romantic comedy in which Julia Roberts plays a small-town girl who bolts before saying “I do”.  Plenty of brides have cold feet.  According to an article in Marie-Claire which I mention in my blog “why I’m not married”, an astonishing 30-percent of now divorced women knew they were marrying the wrong man as they walked down the aisle. With that in mind, I can’t help wondering if its human nature to have doubts about the one we’re with. Is there something innate which drives so many men (and women) to have infidelities? Are they testing the waters, merely seeking a way to confirm whether they have chosen correctly, or are they simply bored?

In my blog Single O.B.O., I talk about how Angelinos are reluctant to commit to a party or dinner date, because they are waiting for the better offer. The same can be said for relationships—at least in Los Angeles. What is it about people that we always thinking there is something better on the other side of the fence? We’re not necessarily unhappy in our relationship, but we always feel we can be happier. I guess that’s why it’s called the pursuit of happiness.

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Saturday
Sep242011

A House Is Not A Home

I was never so happy as the day I purchased my first house. It was three years ago, just as the market started to turn. People were losing their homes, and by some small miracle, I bought mine. It’s a tiny place with barely enough closet space for all my shoes. There was nothing in dire need of improvement—It wouldn’t fall down if the termites stopped holding hands while one of them sneezed—but I still changed a few things to make it my own. In the words of Luther Vandross, “a house is not a home.“ I had to make it a home. Now I have the nicest, tiniest house on the block.

I am so happy and so proud of my home, and even more proud of myself for somehow being able to convince a bank to lend me the money while the rest of the world was defaulting on their loans. I have re-financed twice since then, and now I can almost afford the payments—I can always sell the shoe collection! 

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Wednesday
Sep212011

If You’re Happy And You Know It…

Clap your hands! If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands! If you’re happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it, if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!!!

It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans week, everyone. Can you believe it? I wonder if Hallmark has a card for this. National Unmarried and Singles Week is celebrated the third full week in September, which this year is September 19th to 25th, 2011. In all my years of being unmarried and single (a double-whammy), I have never heard of this before until my publicist brought it to my attention last week. So, I thought I’d Google it to learn more about it. After all, I am supposedly an expert on being single. I should know these things. The top listing on Google is for a website called National Singles Week which is defunct. Doesn’t seem promising, now, does it! Upon further investigation, I learned that there are an estimated 82 million single and unmarried adults in the United States. Out of roughly 312,215,000 Americans, that’s a whopping 26%. Sure, we’re still technically a minority group, yet nothing to be sneezed at. 

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