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Welcome to my blog on dating in Los Angeles.  I hope you find my real life stories and anecdotes on being smart, sexy and single in the City of Angels as amusing (and tragic) as I do.  If you enjoy reading my posts, please share this blog site with your friends, family, loved ones, and less loved ones.  

Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.

Entries in Online Dating (16)

Saturday
Feb252012

The Award For Best Actress Goes To...

Its Oscar season, and the nominees for best actor/actress in a social media performance are:

Kim Kardashian for faking her relationship with Kris Humphries to the point of buying herself her own engagement ring and pretending he bought it for her so she would not have to feel and look pathetic by still being single in her thirties.

Charlie Sheen for parlaying his personal rage into a show idea called “Anger Management” and acting sane enough to convince the FX network executives to give him a shot after he already berated and humiliated the network executives on Two and a Half Men.

Crystal Harris (25) for pretending she was in love with Hugh Hefner (85), who is old enough to be her grandfather, then having the common sense to call off the wedding five days before tying the knot.

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Saturday
Feb042012

To Google or Not to Google?

You meet a new guy online or in real life and have his name and vitals. Do you Google him? That is the question. My answer: yes and no. Clearly, I have a love/hate relationship with Google.

First, why I love Google: it gives us instant access to any information we want. You want to know Madonna's 2012 concert dates? Google it. Want to know Rob Lowe's first son's name? Google it. Now, for why I hate Google: it gives us instant access to any information we want. Google violates our privacy and makes it ridiculously easy for psychopaths, blackmailers, and stalkers to research their targets. In some areas of Europe, Google Maps in not permitted to publishing aerial photographs of people’s homes. Often, the responsibility is on the homeowner to submit a request to Google by a certain date or one is assumed to have agreed to this lack of privacy. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Just because you have satellites in space doesn't mean you can take a photo of me tanning naked in my back yard and put it on Google Maps.

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Wednesday
Oct052011

3 Tips To Safe Online Dating For Women

Robyn Gardner and her boyfriendAbout a month ago, I was working out in a hotel gym. I love hotel gyms! With no audio book on my iPod and my iPad battery drained to 3%, I was left with only the TV to keep me entertained while striving for my goal of an hour on the elliptical. Sweating off the 350 calories that would allow me to justify two glasses of wine at dinner, I watched Headline News columnist Nancy Grace report on the disappearance of a beautiful blond woman in Aruba on August 2nd. The beautiful 35-year old, surgically-enhanced, unemployed blond who was missing had been accompanying, Gary Giordano, a man she hardly knew—a man who was not her boyfriend. Now, she was presumably dead.

Evidently, she knew that Gary Giordano had a history violence towards women, and yet she still agreed to go away with him. I ask myself "what the fuck was she thinking!" and, what kind of boyfriend lets his girlfriend go on vacation with another man? To a romantic, remote tropical island, no less! The whole thing sounds awfully suspicious and makes me wonder if she met her boyfriend and this Gary character on one of the many online dating sites geared towards arrangements. Robyn had recently lost her job. In this economy, one could assume she was a little desperate. Sugar daddies, friends with benefits, arrangements—whatever you want to call it—it’s dangerous! If Robyn Gardner does turn up, which by this point is highly unlikely, I hope she realizes how stupid she was being.

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Wednesday
Aug102011

3 Ways To Break A Dating Rut

The other day when I was thinking of what dating saga I would write about next, I realized I hadn’t been on a date in a while. In fact, I hadn’t even gone online to look for a date. I guess partly because I find it insane that I have to hunt for a guy online, instead of just having it happen naturally; and partly, I just didn’t have the time. I had fallen into the most common trap. I had fallen deep into a dating rut. A dating rut is when you don't date, you don't want to date, and you don't make any effort to date. Not adviseable if you're looking for a happily ever after!

It was about time I started practicing what I preach. If you are like me and you’re tired of surfing match.com and seeing the same old profiles of the same old guys who just don’t do it for you, then take my advice—and I will endeavor to do the same.

Here are three simple ways to stir up the dating pot and kickstart your dating life. 

1. Get a life: It’s the oldest advice in the book, because it’s good advice. Pursue activities that you enjoy. Go horseback riding in Griffith Park. Sign up for conversational Italian class at the Beverly Hills Lingual Institute. I’m not saying you’ll meet a man at your Bar Method class, but doing activities you enjoy will bolster your ego, your confidence, and most importantly, get you out of the house. If you are feeling desperate and dejected, you’re not going to attract anyone. Having a life will make you feel better about yourself and will make you much more interesting to talk to when you do have that hot date.

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Saturday
Jul232011

I’ll Be Auditioning For The Role Of Wife  

Online dating is just like auditioning. The casting director sifts through a sea of electronically submitted photos, one strikes a chord of interest, and then—with any luck on the part of the actor—an audition is set. Just like online dating, it's rare the actor gets an audition, and even more rare that he gets the lands the gig.

I have dated and auditioned excessively. With both dating and auditioning, a decision is made the minute you walk in the room. All you can do is either confirm that decision or fight an uphill battle trying to prove otherwise which rarely results in success. The moment I meet a date, I know whether it’s going to be a good or bad experience. I’m rarely surprised. I can try to convince myself that something more is there, but I am eventually forced to see that my first impression was right.  

Speed dating seems to make a lot more sense than online dating, by cutting straight to the audition room and not getting weeded out in the photo and resume process. We are instinctive creatures. We have a fight or flight instinct. We sense weakness and strength in others and our attraction (or lack thereof) is immediate. You see someone on an elevator and you smile or you don’t smile. Believe it or not, in that split second you have made a decision about that person. You don’t take your time throughout the elevator ride to decide if you like the person, if they seem friendly to you, and then consciously decide whether you should smile. You just go with it.

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Wednesday
Jul202011

Hostile Takeover

“No. No, thank you. No f—ing way, you f—ing a**hole.” Any way a woman says it, the message is the same: she is not interested in dating you.

In the corporate world, a hostile takeover allows a suitor to take over a target company whose management is unwilling to agree to a merger or takeover. A takeover is considered "hostile" if the target company's board rejects the offer, but the bidder continues to pursue it, or the bidder makes the offer directly after having announced its firm intention to make an offer. Sounds an awful lot like Internet dating. 

Lately, I’ve had a lot of men pursue me on Facebook. When I politely reply with “I am only accepting male friends who I know personally, or women who have similar interests,” they get nasty—really nasty. Some men can’t accept “no” for an answer; they resort to the hostile takeover approach to pursuing women.

A recent Facebook suitor said that we had met months ago on an online dating site. I vaguely recognized his photo. Given we hadn’t gone on a date, I was pretty sure I had done my due diligence and had concluded that we were not compatible. Now that I was on Facebook, he was relentless in wanting to meet me or at least have a phone conversation. I told him I wasn’t on Facebook to date, and was no longer on the dating site, because I wasn’t currently looking. He replied with hostility and said that if I wasn’t dating, then either my blog was a complete fraud or I was just avoiding dating him. I don’t feel I have to defend myself. I am not Schwarzenegger, Spitzer or Weiner. I have not done something unethical or immoral and do not have to justify my actions. I am entitled to a private life. I am not on trial.

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