The cold weather is here and so are my nipples, and I am not going to hide them despite a recent article on EcoSalon declaring nipple visibility a fashion faux pas. I’m not some feminist radical Jane Fonda of the 70s type women, but I hate bras. I hate the way they feel. They are uncomfortable. They bind, they chafe, and when you have small breasts, they ride up. There’s nothing to weigh them down. I’d like to burn all my bras, but I’m afraid the stench of melting fabric, under-wires, and foam in my fireplace would draw unwanted attention by the police and fire department.
When I wear a bra it looks like I’m trying too hard—like a little girl playing dress up in mommy’s clothes and using lipstick as rouge all over her cheeks. I look better braless. All flat-chested women do. Jodie Foster has proven this point year after year by wearing plunging Armani necklines to the Oscars.