Wine and Porsches

Things I am passionate about: great wine, fast cars, fast women. Scratch that. I am a fast woman, or so I like to think! *joke* While I do like wine and Porsches, my interests span much broader than just that, and so do my life aspirations. Our overall goal in life is to be happy. How you get from A) not happy, or not as happy as you want to be, to B) happy, or over the moon ecstatic is, up to the individual. What’s important is to keep focused on the goal.

First, you need to know what makes you happy. I suggest writing a list. The things that make you happy, and the things you want to do—a bucket list of sorts—that will bring you more happiness. Will jumping out of a plane with a parachute strapped to your back make you happy? What about taking a cooking course in Alba during truffle season? Have you always wanted to learn how to ballroom dance? Do you want to travel more to exotic locales like Burma and Laos? If you know what’s on your list, then you know what defines you, and finding a mate or life partner will be easier. Just look for that person with a similar or complimentary list.

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5 Reasons Why Women Should Complain Less

Bitch, bitch, bitch. How often do you hear your girlfriends complaining about their lives? Face it, ladies. We like to complain. In fact, we speak in complaints. It is how we communicate. While it may work just fine when we’re around other women, it does not work with men. If you want to form a closer bond with the man in your life, you need to dial down the complaints, and learn to speak in a language he understands. Here are just a few pointers on how to communicate more effectively with your significant other:

1. MEN HATE COMPLAINTS: The words “why” and “you” in any combination will set your man on the defensive. Eliminate phrases such as “Why won’t you…”, “Why can’t you…”, and “Why don’t you…” from your dialogue. Men are competitive creatures, and when challenged they will often fight. You can still win your point, by using a different strategy. Turn complaints into compliments, by phrasing your complaints as compliments, by saying “I love it when you….” or “I really appreciate it when you…”. You get more bees with honey.

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7 Clues He’s Too Immature For You

We’ve all been there, in a relationship with a guy who’d rather play Wii with your kid brother than make out with you. Your first instinct is to ask yourself “What’s wrong with me?” There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just that he’s too immature for you.

They say that men mature slower than women. We've all met the guy in this 30s who acts goofy, says stupid things, and behaves insensitively, and it's a complete turn off for a woman who is looking for a serious relationship. Women want a confident, reassuring man, which is often why women are attracted to older men. 

If you’re still in boyfriend/girlfriend status and are ready for something serious, it’s time to weed out the boys from the men. Don’t know the signs? For all you women in your 30’s who don’t want to squander precious time with a guy who’s not willing to commit, here are my top seven clues he's too immature:

1. He has a job; not a career: If he's finished college, over 30, and still works as a lifeguard in the summer and ski patrol in the winter, is a bartender at TGI Fridays, or works a salesclerk at The Gap, he’s not taking his life seriously and neither should you. This is a sign of someone who is lazy and lacking ambition. If you’re in the market for a marriage-minded man, you need to listen to your mother and find a nice doctor, lawyer or hell… even an investment banker would be better than that!

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Is The Grass Greener Or Do I Need Lasik Surgery?

One of my favorite movies is Runaway Bride, a romantic comedy in which Julia Roberts plays a small-town girl who bolts before saying “I do”.  Plenty of brides have cold feet.  According to an article in Marie-Claire which I mention in my blog “why I’m not married”, an astonishing 30-percent of now divorced women knew they were marrying the wrong man as they walked down the aisle. With that in mind, I can’t help wondering if its human nature to have doubts about the one we’re with. Is there something innate which drives so many men (and women) to have infidelities? Are they testing the waters, merely seeking a way to confirm whether they have chosen correctly, or are they simply bored?

In my blog Single O.B.O., I talk about how Angelinos are reluctant to commit to a party or dinner date, because they are waiting for the better offer. The same can be said for relationships—at least in Los Angeles. What is it about people that we always thinking there is something better on the other side of the fence? We’re not necessarily unhappy in our relationship, but we always feel we can be happier. I guess that’s why it’s called the pursuit of happiness.

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Posting Your Relationship Status On Facebook Is Stupid

We've all seen it. One week your friends are "in a relationship" the next week "its complicated" and after that its just plain awkard for anyone to read their walls, cause they're both spewing venomous remarks at each other. If I haven't convinced you yet that it's a bad idea, then watch my video: 

After you watch my video, tell me your thoughts. Do you agree? What would you add as relationship status options on Facebook?

If you like my blogs, you're going to love my novel, "Blow Me". It's available on Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble.com, Googlebooks, and my website. Download a copy or buy the paperback and let me know what you think!

Necessary Roughness

Necessary Roughness is a great new show on USA network, especially now that hottie Jason Gedrick joined the cast as Dani's love interest, JD Aldridge. But, what's got me worked up this week is not Jason's lusciously full head of hair or his G.I. Joe jawline, but rather an article I read in Psychology Today on why gender equality doesn't play well in the bedroom. The low sexual desire in today's woman may have more to do with her strive for equality, than it does with depression, fatigue, or low libido. She is expected to be strong and independent but that goes against her nature in the bedroom. 

Over 60% of women experience rape fantasies, and 45% of these rape fantasies are erotic in nature. And that’s just counting women who are willing to admit to having these fantasies! A woman's preference for sexual submission is controlled the unconscious part of her brain. This physical preference is complemented by her psychological preference for dominant men. This is why the best-selling women's fiction—those paperback romance novels you see in the drugstore and at the checkout stand of supermarkets—are so popular. The heroes of these stories are alpha males portrayed to have strength, confidence, deep voices, and great wealth. They are often surgeons, politicians and professional athletes, not accountants, sales clerks, or kindergarten teachers. 

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