(followed by a contest on how to win a copy of my novel)
How you handle fights or disagreements, as I prefer to call them, will greatly impact your relationship. Women deal with conflict in entirely different ways than men. If you want to communicate effectively with the man in your life, then you need to speak his language. Here are five tips on how to get through a fight with your relationship intact:
1. Think before you speak: Women tend to be emotional and reactionary. Men don't respond well to either of these qualities. They like calm, rational presentations. Take a moment (or a day) to get over the anger, gain some perspective, and analyze what you are upset about and why it upsets you, and then present your concern in a clear, concise manner. Never send an angry email. You can write it, but wait 24 hours and read it again, and even bounce it off a friend, before hitting send.
2. Sotto Voce: If you want to be heard, don’t yell. You will only strain your vocal chords. Men are experts at tuning out the noise, and to them, yelling is noise. A better strategy is to use your "inside voice". Imagine a baby is sleeping and you don't want to wake it when you address what upset you. Mary Poppins said it best: “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...”