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Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct Blow Me Blow Me Half Broke Horses The Glass Castle Steve Jobs

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Welcome to my blog on dating in Los Angeles.  I hope you find my real life stories and anecdotes on being smart, sexy and single in the City of Angels as amusing (and tragic) as I do.  If you enjoy reading my posts, please share this blog site with your friends, family, loved ones, and less loved ones.  

Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.

Entries in Relationship Advice (23)

Wednesday
Jul272011

5 Ways Not To Fight Like A Girl

(followed by a contest on how to win a copy of my novel)

How you handle fights or disagreements, as I prefer to call them, will greatly impact your relationship. Women deal with conflict in entirely different ways than men. If you want to communicate effectively with the man in your life, then you need to speak his language. Here are five tips on how to get through a fight with your relationship intact:

1. Think before you speak: Women tend to be emotional and reactionary. Men don't respond well to either of these qualities. They like calm, rational presentations. Take a moment (or a day) to get over the anger, gain some perspective, and analyze what you are upset about and why it upsets you, and then present your concern in a clear, concise manner. Never send an angry email. You can write it, but wait 24 hours and read it again, and even bounce it off a friend, before hitting send.

2. Sotto Voce: If you want to be heard, don’t yell. You will only strain your vocal chords. Men are experts at tuning out the noise, and to them, yelling is noise. A better strategy is to use your "inside voice". Imagine a baby is sleeping and you don't want to wake it when you address what upset you. Mary Poppins said it best: “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...”

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Saturday
Jul232011

I’ll Be Auditioning For The Role Of Wife  

Online dating is just like auditioning. The casting director sifts through a sea of electronically submitted photos, one strikes a chord of interest, and then—with any luck on the part of the actor—an audition is set. Just like online dating, it's rare the actor gets an audition, and even more rare that he gets the lands the gig.

I have dated and auditioned excessively. With both dating and auditioning, a decision is made the minute you walk in the room. All you can do is either confirm that decision or fight an uphill battle trying to prove otherwise which rarely results in success. The moment I meet a date, I know whether it’s going to be a good or bad experience. I’m rarely surprised. I can try to convince myself that something more is there, but I am eventually forced to see that my first impression was right.  

Speed dating seems to make a lot more sense than online dating, by cutting straight to the audition room and not getting weeded out in the photo and resume process. We are instinctive creatures. We have a fight or flight instinct. We sense weakness and strength in others and our attraction (or lack thereof) is immediate. You see someone on an elevator and you smile or you don’t smile. Believe it or not, in that split second you have made a decision about that person. You don’t take your time throughout the elevator ride to decide if you like the person, if they seem friendly to you, and then consciously decide whether you should smile. You just go with it.

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Saturday
Jul162011

Boyfriend In A Coma

Boyfriend in a coma, I know, I know, it’s serious. There are times when I could have murdered him… for watching TV in bed!  I can’t help thinking of The Smiths whenever I see a man passed out in front of a television set.

When I was growing up my dad would fall asleep in front of the TV every night. He would stir around midnight and head upstairs to the master bedroom in a foggy haze. This is how I associate men and TV. I have yet to meet a man who doesn’t doze off the minute a TV is turned on at night. During the day, they can stay glued to it for hours if there’s a sporting event on—though, they do tend to nod off watching golf. At night, it’s like a visual source of Ambien. It’s the equivalent to me opening a book after 9pm—one paragraph in and I’m comatose—which is why I don’t read in bed. I never actually turn a page.

Before I moved into my current home, there was a flat screen TV on the bedroom wall. Obviously, a man lived there.

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Saturday
Jul022011

Man’s Speak: What Men Say & What They Really Mean  

Guest Post by Marrie from www.dirtyinpublic.com

"You can't handle the truth!" Jack Nicholson, A Few Good MenGranted men are much less of a mystery to women than women are to men. Men typically speak very plainly and honestly, except when trying to get you to sleep with them, then all bets are off. It isn’t that men are inarticulate oafs, they just speak plainly and lack the ability to candy coat their words like women do so effortlessly. Where men get into trouble is when they try to communicate to a woman, like a woman. Men do this because most men have learned early that if they speak to a woman like a man, straight-from-the-hip, they can expect swift and painful consequences. Most women know the truth about what a man means, we just prefer that the truth not be served raw on a verbal silver platter.

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Wednesday
Jun222011

Love On The Rocks

© Glenn Francis, www.PacificProDigital.com

Ain’t no big surprise. Pour me a drink, and I’ll tell you some lies. Oh, Neil Diamond, you had me with Shalom.

It seems every week another politician gets caught in a sex scandal and screws up his marriage. It started in 2008 with Elliot Spitzer hiring Emperors Club VIP escort Kristen (Ashley Dupré). In the past 60 days, we found out Arnold Schwarzenegger has a 10-year old illegitimate child with the housekeeper, John Edwards was indicted for allegedly using campaign funds to cover up the affair and pregnancy he had with his mistress Rielle Hunter while his wife was dying of cancer, and US Representative Anthony Weiner was caught with this pants down (but not his underpants) sending sexual photos and sexts to a woman in Seattle through his Twitter account and is now seeking sex rehabilitation to save face and try to save his career.

With so much sex scandal going on under the public eye, one can only imagine how much transpires in the private sector. Politicians are not alone in the scandals. Celebrities swap spouses as often as they trade in their luxury vehicles.

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Wednesday
Jun012011

3 Reasons Women Should Initiate Sex

I hear a lot of women in long term relationships talk about how infrequently they have sex with their man. Sometimes it’s just once a week, sometimes its only once or twice a month. And inevitably it’s the man that initiates sex. Okay, I know you’re tired, I know you’re working your butt off having a career, keeping the house together, and caring for children or pets or what have you. But, if you do not have sex with your man regularly, his mind is going to wander, and eventually his body might too. 

Here are three reasons a woman should initiate sex with her man: 

REASON #1: It will make you feel empowered and you won’t view sex as an obligation or chore. You will view it as something playful, sexy and fun. Especially, if you set the mood with candles, music and sexy lingerie. And you might just start looking forward to sex again! 

REASON #2: It will make your man feel sexy and wanted. If you make him feel special, he will perform better, he'll be in a better mood, and you'll get along better. He may even go out of his way to show you how much he appreciates you.

REASON #3:  The more you keep your man satisfied, the less likely he is to wander. He may still look at other women and think about them, but he’s a lot less likely to act on his thoughts if you keep him feeling desired. He won’t feel a need to go elsewhere to get his ego—or other things—stroked.

Check out my video to hear more of what I think on this subject, and remember: a happy man makes for a happy woman!