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Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct Blow Me Blow Me Half Broke Horses The Glass Castle Steve Jobs

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Welcome to my blog on dating in Los Angeles.  I hope you find my real life stories and anecdotes on being smart, sexy and single in the City of Angels as amusing (and tragic) as I do.  If you enjoy reading my posts, please share this blog site with your friends, family, loved ones, and less loved ones.  

Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.

Entries in Sex Tips (9)


No Dogs Allowed

I bet you think you talking about you...don't you... don't you... you're so vain... WRONG! I'm not talking about you men, for once, when I use the word dogs. Get over yourself!

Those of you who read my novel, BLOW ME, know all about Dog Boy. Those of you who haven't read my novel... shame on you. You're reading my blog every week for free and you can't scrape up $9.95 for a digital copy on Amazon? Seriously?

Anyway, back to Dog Boy, so as not to bore you folks who cannot be bothered to read the book. This character was based on a real person. He was not someone I dated, but someone a friend of mine dated. This man was so in love with his dogs there was no room left for a woman, especially in his bed. Picture this. Three large dogs, a man, a woman and a remote control all squished into a queen sized bed. Talk about a dog pile! 

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Necessary Roughness

Necessary Roughness is a great new show on USA network, especially now that hottie Jason Gedrick joined the cast as Dani's love interest, JD Aldridge. But, what's got me worked up this week is not Jason's lusciously full head of hair or his G.I. Joe jawline, but rather an article I read in Psychology Today on why gender equality doesn't play well in the bedroom. The low sexual desire in today's woman may have more to do with her strive for equality, than it does with depression, fatigue, or low libido. She is expected to be strong and independent but that goes against her nature in the bedroom. 

Over 60% of women experience rape fantasies, and 45% of these rape fantasies are erotic in nature. And that’s just counting women who are willing to admit to having these fantasies! A woman's preference for sexual submission is controlled the unconscious part of her brain. This physical preference is complemented by her psychological preference for dominant men. This is why the best-selling women's fiction—those paperback romance novels you see in the drugstore and at the checkout stand of supermarkets—are so popular. The heroes of these stories are alpha males portrayed to have strength, confidence, deep voices, and great wealth. They are often surgeons, politicians and professional athletes, not accountants, sales clerks, or kindergarten teachers. 

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3 Reasons Women Should Initiate Sex

I hear a lot of women in long term relationships talk about how infrequently they have sex with their man. Sometimes it’s just once a week, sometimes its only once or twice a month. And inevitably it’s the man that initiates sex. Okay, I know you’re tired, I know you’re working your butt off having a career, keeping the house together, and caring for children or pets or what have you. But, if you do not have sex with your man regularly, his mind is going to wander, and eventually his body might too. 

Here are three reasons a woman should initiate sex with her man: 

REASON #1: It will make you feel empowered and you won’t view sex as an obligation or chore. You will view it as something playful, sexy and fun. Especially, if you set the mood with candles, music and sexy lingerie. And you might just start looking forward to sex again! 

REASON #2: It will make your man feel sexy and wanted. If you make him feel special, he will perform better, he'll be in a better mood, and you'll get along better. He may even go out of his way to show you how much he appreciates you.

REASON #3:  The more you keep your man satisfied, the less likely he is to wander. He may still look at other women and think about them, but he’s a lot less likely to act on his thoughts if you keep him feeling desired. He won’t feel a need to go elsewhere to get his ego—or other things—stroked.

Check out my video to hear more of what I think on this subject, and remember: a happy man makes for a happy woman! 


F*ck the F*ck Buddy

I read an article a while back on Dirty In Public, about fuck buddies. The girl was in fuck buddy hell and wished she could have a life do-over and return him to friend status. I know the feeling.

Several years ago I made the mistake of having sex with a good friend of mine. Why? I dunno. I knew he wanted me, and I used to kind of get off on giving a guy something he didn't deserve namely my body. Somehow I viewed this as a power thing. In retrospect, it was the opposite and is no longer a practice to which I subscribe.

Needless to say, once we fucked well, actually it was a lot less than fucking, more of a disappointing (to me) hand job (for him) our relationship was awkward. Whenever we saw each other after that he was seriously DTF and I was seriously not interested. Let s just say I had taken the Ferrari around the block and was unimpressed by the throttle and the run flat tires. I had to sever ties with my friend, because he was pretty much only interested in being my fuck buddy, and I was pretty much only interested in NOT being his fuck buddy.

Years went by. I never called him. He never called me. It was over. Whew. But, I had lost a good friend or so I had thought a good friend. If he truly was a good friend he would have put his shattered male ego aside and his penis back in his pants and dialed it back to friend status right away. Recently, said friend reappeared in my life and now I am faced with keeping him at arms length again, because I get the distinct feeling that he is still DTF. And I am still not.

Marrie from Dirty In Public asks the question, Can a fuck buddy be demoted to just buddy? I say no. At least not without a long term break in the relationship. I am still constantly watching my back with this friend turned almost fuck buddy turned not friend turned friend again 7 years later.

I had a lot of fuck buddies back then, or at least that's what I thought they were. I know now they were just horny guys looking to get their rocks off and I was an easy, low self-esteem target. I say fuck the fuck buddy. It never works out, and the woman ultimately feels taken advantage of unless of course, the fuck buddy is buying her dinner, taking her to the movies and treating her like a girlfriend, in which case he really isn't a fuck buddy then, is he?


If The Bra Fits

You may have seen my video blog "If The Shoe Fits" on why women love shoes (if not, check it out). Today, I'm here to discuss "If The Bra Fits". Women struggle with so many issues - our weight, our bra size, our skin, our age. The pressures society places upon us are overwhelming. We're supposed to be anorexic thin like Natalie Portman and virtually every young Hollywood actress, and perfectly shaped like a Victoria's Secret model. We're expected to be career women, mothers, sex kittens and more. With our busy lives, we don't always have time to primp and preen, and if we do too much beauty maintenance, we're condemned for that! Sometimes it feels like we cannot win. Ultimately, what women want is to feel feminine and sexy. In this video, I visit Sara's Lingerie in Studio City, CA and discuss how lingerie makes a woman look and feel sexy and confident - with or without her clothes. 


The Top 7 Bedroom Moves That Will Rock Her World

Author Matt Titus recently wrote an article called The Top 5 Bedroom Moves That Will Rock His World for BettyConfidential.  Being a rather sexual woman, I tend to agree with Matt’s suggestions – they are all moves that I’ve employed and they have proven highly effective. But, maybe that’s because I employed them all on the same night. While Matt’s advice is for how women can rock a man’s world (don’t we do that by just agreeing to have sex with him?), I thought it might be useful for my male readers to hear how they can rock a woman's world in the bedroom. So, I asked a few friends and a loyal readers, and of course drew from my own experience, and here’s what I have come up with.

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