Lord of the (Engagement) Ring
Saturday, June 2, 2012 at 12:02AM 
I’ve been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life. Bullshit! I call major frickin’ BULLSHIT on that one, motherfucker! If you really mean those words made famous by Mick Jones of Foreigner, act on them. Ladies, don’t be fooled by a guy who says all the right things, makes all the right promises, but never delivers. Actions speak louder than words.
Someone asked me recently “how many years do you have to be together before your figure out that he doesn’t want to marry you?” This reminds me of an old Tootsie Pop commercial from the 70s where a kid asks, “Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?” The owl answered three. If the question was, “How many years does it take to get a ring on your finger?” the owl would have answered one. That’s because owls are wise and old, just like me.